I know I haven't written here since the guys found you in my bookbag and made copies of the story about how I had that weird dream (which, by the way Dr. Kaufman told me everybody has dreams like that, and even though it was my sister, and it was creepy, it doesn't mean I really want to do that to her, because it was just a dream.) Anyways I just had to write to talk about the best week of school EVER! I haven't been called Miltface, or Egghead, or Milty Eggdick not even once.
All those jerks are off playing baseball for the week and for the first time ever Milton Egbert is king. Since it's been so hot, we did swimming in gym class and I didn't get pushed in when I wasn't ready, or my head held under water when Coach Taylor wasn't looking, or my shirt pulled over my head so it'd suction itself to my face and I couldn't see or breathe. Nobody laughed at me when I didn't go off the diving board during free swim because my mom told me I wasn't a strong enough swimmer to handle the deep end. I even took a shower in the locker room after class (and nobody tried to pull my bathing suit off when my hands were occupied washing my hair. Why do guys do that anyways, they try to take my pants off, and then call ME gay?) The other day at lunch, I sat with Melissa Johnson. Well, I sat at the table next to hers but she talked to me. I asked her if she thought the hot dogs they were serving in the cafeteria were too salty and she said "I don't eat hot dogs." I told her I thought mine was too salty and maybe I should follow her lead and cut hot dogs out of my diet. I think she smiled. But then she left. Last night my dad made me watch the guys on ESPN
with him. He was complaining about Coach Carl and how they "played favorites" when they picked the team, but I'm glad I didn't make it. There's no way me and Seth would have got to see The Clone Wars movie the day it came out if I was off playing stupid baseball. I saw Eric on tv, and it said he was 6 foot 2! He also said his favorite book is Where the Red Fern Grows, but I know he didn't even read it because he made me do his Book-It report for him. He said if I didn't it would ruin the pizza party for the whole class and I wouldn't want it to be my fault that we didn't get a pizza party cause everybody would blame me and hate me. It's no fair that he's even in my grade, he turned 13 over the summer, I won't be 13 until May. How am I supposed to compete with that? It even looked like he was growing a sweet mustache. He was only like 5'10" last year and he still beat the crap out of me. I didn't grow at all, and now he's bigger than my dad. I hope they never come back. I hope the Little League World Series lasts forever. Or maybe their plane will crash on the flight back from Williamsport. I wish Obi Wan was here to teach me the ways of The Force
but I guess I wouldn't want to use my powers for evil.