Copied this from another blog of mine…. was stretched to two articles there… Here I combined it to one. or your reading pleasure… and you'll need to be aware of these guys pretty soon… Football is upon us.

"Hater" Guy – This guy/girl comes to the party rooting for the opposite team.Normally when I have a football party, it's for my home team, the Giants, and every time there is one guy who roots for the opposing team, regardless of who they are.Its not really annoying, but its weird.He even goes out and buys a jersey for that team, wears it only that day.God forbid your team loses when he's around, he'll give you shit for a while, well until the next game when he's got a new favorite team.š
Famous Hater Guy Quote: "What?, I've always liked them, I'm serious."

"Profanity" Guy – This guy's name is pretty self explainitory, he curses, a lot.If this guys around, make sure there aren't kids under the age of 17 around too.He curses the refs after every call that doesn't go his way.Can be funny to see him get real upset and start making up curse words, or really just combining two old ones.Watch out, this guy tends to be raciest too, but that make just be his way of venting.
Famous Profanity Guy Quote: "Mother ****ing piece of shit.Go to hell ***face."

"I'm Better" Guy – This guy is a real dick.He'll come along and watch the game, but every five seconds he'll bring up how much better his TV is, or his surrond system.He seems to not want to watch the game, but rather brag about his shit.People mostly ignore him, so he keeps talking.¼br style="padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; ">Famous I'm Better Guy Quote: "Imagine, this game, on a 42" Plasma Screen, HD TV, ****ing amazing"

"Fatass" Guy – We all enjoy having some things to snack on during the game, I won't deny that.But there is a limit I think.I'm fine with just some wngs, nachos, and chips & dips, something along those lines.But Fatass is never please.He'll bring his own chips and food, which are only for him.He'll sit in the seat closest to the snacks, and he'll constantly bitch about the selection.For him a football party isn't a place to watch football, its an excuse to eat a lot.
Famous Fatass Quote: "So…did you call Dominos, or shoud I?"

"New Couple" Guy – This guy is the idiot who brings his brand new girlfriend along to the party.Which okay, thats cute…but make sure she likes football first.We all know how new couples are always all over eachother, and the ones at football parties are no different.Constantly making out, snuggling, whispering and shit…its annoying.Really bro, this is a football.Its always an awkward mess, and he always seems to get the girl who doesn't give a flying **** about the game.There are two days in a weekend for a reason buddy, designate Saturday to your girl, and sunday to football.Now I'm not saying don't inivite your girlfriends or any girls to parties, I actually encourage it, but there should be a two weeks of dating minimum to get her in, and she needs to watch the game.
Famous New Couple Quote: "Hey honey, what should we do after this" "I dunno luv watch a movie?"

"Halftime" Guy – For whatever odd reason, this guy really loves the halftime show.Not to say I don't enjoy it, but its like this guy preps for it.Ssshhing people in the middle of it, turning up the volume, and sitting real close.Now this guy is a little rarer then some others on the list, but I garuntee you'll see him eventually.This guy isn't really a nusence or anything, just a little wacky:
Famous Halftime Quote: "Ssh, this is the best part"

"2:00" Guy – For whatever reason, this guy always shows up exactly 1 hour late.He'll have an excuse, but sometimes it doesn't make sense.Its always the same guy too, you can almost expect it.Game will start at one, and the guy will show up later.I always wondered where the hell this guy actually is from 1-2 on a sunday aftenoon, thats something we'll never know.It doesn't appear he is watching the game though, because he always shows up pretty clueless.
Famous 2:00 Quote: "Oh jeez, sorry I'm late, whats the score?"

"John Madden" Guy- Really more like announcer guy, but John MaddenGuy is more catchy.This guy adds his own color commentary to every god damn play.Its almost as if he feels the TV is on mute, and we are all blind.He says everything the announcers are saying only louder so we'll only here him.
Famous John Madden Quote – "The 30, the 20, the 10…."

"Booze Hound" Guy – I know I'm 18 so I shouldn't be to parties with drinking, but it happens, usually though this guy shows up at Super Bowl parties, when there are older people.Anyway, this guy is an alcoholic if i ever saw one.He's the guy who, 10 years from now will be about 50 pounds heavier and married to someone equally obese.Usually dosn't make it past halftime without passing out.Sometimes as a halftime game, money involved, we throw stuff at him, whoever wakes him up wins.Great fun.
Famous Booze Hound Quote: nothing really, mumbles some shit then sleeps.

"Dancing Jackass" Guy – This is the guy who feels he has to do the touchdown dances for the athletes.Since they are no longer allowed to, he will.Although he doesn't stop at touchdown dances, his list includes: The sack dance, first down dance, interception dance, hilarious tackle dance, this list goes on…. anyway, he is somewhat amusing, but still a jackass.
Famous Dancing Jackass Quote: "Ballin"

"Random Facts" Guy – This guy thinks we care about every ****ing detail.For every down he has a fact that goes with it.Some of them can be interesting, but overall its stupid.He only does it because he wants everyone to think he is knowledgable, but really we just see him as queer.
Famous Random Facts Quote: "Did you know?"

"The Other Game" Guy – Usually when a football party is scheduled, the game we are watching is determined ahead of time.But this guy feels otherwise.He'll be switching back between games constantly.I admit I like to see the scores of the other games, but wait until a god damn commercial.Sometimes its not even another football game, just another game.Wait till halftime buddy, give you an update…plus the scores run along the top.
Famous The Other Game Quote: "Yo, check the other game bro,"

"After Game" Guy – This guy's party doesn't end with the game.The game being over is just an excuse to do something else with the group.This is the guy who doesn't want to leave once the games over, so he'll suggest random bullshit to do instead.Usually no one wants to, but at least he tries.He is only your problem when the party was at your house, cause otherwise just bail.
Famous After Game Quote – "So what now?"

Underaged Drinker Guy ­¼/span>This guy really doesn't give a shit about football or even parties. ?e just uses both as an excuse to drink,©llegally (not that that is all that wrong). "his guy has about 500 hookups to get some alcohol. šrothers, cousins, friends, friends brothers, friends cousins, hobo in the parking lot, etc. nd not just beer, he brings anything he can to get drunk. ?ow there is nothing wrong with having a beer or two while watching your favorite team kick some ass, but 5 beers, three Jack and Cokes, 4 shots of various vodka, Gin and Tonics…. it gets annoying. "his guy ends up making a jackass of himself by the end of the first quarter. ?ot only that he usually pulls in a few "extras" to drink with him. "o now you have 3-4 drunk idiots cursing at Howie Long and his "fat f**king head". h one more thing, he never has a DD so try to leave quickly before he/she spots you.

Famous¼b>Underaged Drink Guy -¼/span>Quote – "Who wants to throw in a few bucks for a keggar?"


Single Female Version 1 Guy -¼/span>Yea thats right even the females get tagged with the "guy" at the end of their name, its a football party. …very once in a while, the host of the party will try to invite a single girl to the party to break up the "sausage fest". "his is normally a good thing, something to look at when you're teams losing, however, by a force that seems to be the football Gods saying "No Girls Allowed" the girls are always off the wall crazy/annoying. emale V. 1 is the girl who actually does know a thing or two about football, she owns a jersey and can name upwards of 5 players (nearly the whole team in guy numbers). f course there has to be a twist. ¢sually the Female V 1 will root for the opposite team of everyone else to be "cute". °ts as if she's trying to get more attention, which isn't necessary considering she's normally the ONLY F**KING GIRL. "o the girl roots for the other team right, not a big deal we all deal with opposing fans… nope Female V 1 has to be loud an obnoxious over everything. ny call as small as a five yard penalty in her team's favor, she will react loudly and annoyingly. s if she won the Super Bowl. gain, a girl, so its cute for a while, but whenever this girl is at the party… your team loses… its strange but always true. "o unless you also root for the unfavorite team, don't invite her. "that bitch.

Famous¼/span>Single Female Version 1 Guy -¼/span>Quote – "Blah blaaaah wooooo yea blah" (followed by more inaudible noise)


Single Female Version 2 Guy – This girl is inviting for the same exact reason as Single Female Version 1 Guy so there's no need for that whole introduction. "his girl is the other girl you will find at a football party. "his is the girl who likes one (always one) guy at the party and goes WAY out of her way to get him to like her. "he'll buy a football jersey to seem knowledgeable, she'll bring (somehow she knows) the favorite drink and snack of the chosen guy. žuring the party, which usually starts an hour or so early for pregame talk and prep, she'll slowly make her way through all the guys she doesn't like. ?st talking with them, doing a few flirty things then move on. šEWARE, that is just a clever ploy to not seem so obvious once she gets to her real target. "he usually picks her guy right around kick-off, because she'll want to sit next to him for the game. "o if this girl starts talking with you first, and you start getting excited…. forget about it, you ain't getting any. ?ow I know having a girl "want you" seems nice. šut during a football game you don't have time for their bullshit. "he'll ask you the same questions (Favorite music, movies, song, beer, and so on) . „¢ou are at a crossroad at this point, especially if she's cute. žo you A) Give in and ruin a week of football (for possibly nothing because it usually doesn't lead anywhere) or B) Tell her to shut up because the men are watching football. ¨Which again, may make her try harder). Its a tough choice.. pros and cons on both sides.¼/span>

Famous¼/span>Single Female Version 2 Guy'uote – "Blah blaaaah Soulja boy woooo yea blah" (followed by more inaudible noise) ¼/span>


Thinks He's a Player Guy This guy comes to the football party only when on of the pervious two are there. "his guy is usually that guy you only invite because you think he's fun to have around. ¢ntil you realize all the stupid shit he does is to impress a girl. ?e'll try anything to get a girl to go out with him. ?e does stupid physical humor shit. ©.e jump from the armrest of the couch and do a flip onto the couch (usually failing at this), throwing the snack food in the air and try to catch with his mouth, laugh obnoxiously at stupid commercials, and a whole bunch of other stupid crap. ?e also uses those "so cheesy they work" pick up lines. akes you want to punch him. °ts about a 50/50 shot on whether or not he gets the girl, but when he does thats when it bothers you. „¢ou wish you'd been doing the same shit… Just remember this, he's a douche and you actually enjoyed the game.

Famous¼b>Thinks He's a Player Guy¼/span>Quote – "That blue Giants jersey reminds me of you for two reasons… You're lovely blue eyes, and you giant tits."


F**ked Up Snacks Guy¼/span>- Yea we all bring snacks to the football party. ?achos, chips w/ dip, pizza, wings…. those are all normal foods that you can see at a football party. "his guy has to bring some special snacks that are always weird as shit. …veryone who walks in and sees this "special snack" ends up saying "Why the f**k is there ____ here" or "Who brought the _____". "his guy tries to be swift about it and sneak it in with other stuff. ?o one eats his crazy snack except him, and he always takes the leftovers with him. °ts as if he was at the store buying normal stuff, and then saw the weird thing he'd been craving for months. ?e's not a bad guy to have at the party, all that he does is come with his weird foods then leave. šut he is always there so I though I'd include him.

Famous¼b>F**ked Up Snacks Guy¼/span>Quote – "Alright so I brought Root Beer, doritos, bagels bites, wasabi beans, and some sour cream and onion chips.


Tips Guy -¼/span>This guy is similar to the guy in my first article the "Random Facts Guy" but he's a little different. 'andom facts guy would only tell his facts to seem smart on the subject of football. "ips guy just has tips on every subject, football and otherwise. ?e feels like it is his duty to give you a tip on everything he can. ?e'll gravitate around you and give personal experiences from their life that they think you should follow. ¢sually this guy is just trying to be nice and not a showoff but he comes off as jackassy.

Famous¼b>Tips Guy¼/span>Quote – "Man if you want tickets to a game like this I know this site, its better the stubhub its payable through euros though."

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Rough Housing Guy -¼/span>This guy gets so excited about games, that he has to try to bring the game to the party. nd the part he brings is only the violence. ?e tackles everyone, throws them around, does stupid ass wrestling movies, does the Heisman pose before he stiff arms you, body slams you onto a couch, and basically any other°hysical action he can perform. "he worst part is, he's always the biggest guy at the party so there is no fighting back. unny thing is he's the guy you also never figure would get that physical, but a mixture of being drunk (maybe) and the excitement of the game gets him throwing you around. lways have Icy Hot patches with you, you'll need them.

Famous¼b>Rough Housing Guy¼/span>Quote – "FOOTBALL, GO GIANTS, TOUCHDOWN BABY YEEEAAAA."


"Vomiting Guy"- This guy is at most parties. ?e shows up, and either eats a huge amount of every snack, or he drinks a lot of every drink. "he whole time people try to warn him about getting sick but he claims, "Nah bro, I've got an iron stomach." šut in the end, his iron stomach isn't enough and in the 4th Quarter he's in the bathroom stinking it up. …veryone else laughs at his expense a few facebook picture are taken, and he is immortalized as the idiot at that party. "eriously its like this guy swallowed a gallon of©pecac¼/span>

Famous¼b>Vomiting Guy¼/span>Quote – "Oh god, I'm so sick…. so sick… call my dad…. oh god."