Anyone know the name of the song playing over the opening scene of this week's episode? That has to be one of the coolest bra-putting-on montages I've ever seen. Easily in the top 10. One by one, the various women of "Mad Men" are seen strapping into the over-the-shoulder-holders for their respective boulders, the reason being that Sterling Cooper's top client this week is Playtex.

Cupping women's boobs and pushing them together so they look bigger is only a hobby for most of us, but these guys are professionals, and Paul Kinsey has a big idea for their next campaign. All women fall into two categories, he insists: The Jackies and the Marilyns – and Playtex has the bras to fit both of them. It's pretty simplistic and not all that clever, but hey, this is literally the first pitch of Paul's (pictured on the show, anyway) to be met with a modicum of success, so good for him. Anyway, what's more important is that he arrived at this supposed stroke of genius after a night out drinking with everyone in the boardroom but Peggy, and she's starting to get pretty annoyed that creative decisions, escpecially dumb ones, are being made without her.

It's Memorial Day weekend, and Duck's ex-wife has dropped by the office to unburden herself of their two miserable-looking children, plus Duck's dog Chauncey. (In a fairly breast-centric episode, the Ex-Mrs. Waterfowl is somewhat ironically portrayed by that one boobless actress from "Baywatch.") Later on, Duck's dour offspring let slip that mom plans to marry her boyfriend. But hey, at least Duck gets to keep Chauncey, aka a walking reminder of the sad joke his life has become. (I wonder: If Duck attempted suicide and failed, would Chauncey pop out of the grass and giggle at him?)

The Drapers spend their holiday mingling at a country club "Ribs and Fashion Show" (naturally), where Betty runs into Arthur, the guy from the stables who tried to make sex with her a few weeks ago. She's been avoiding him ever since, and he urges her not to. "Let's be friends," she says, which sounds more to Arthur like "Keep trying." Soon Betty's kids walk up, though, and a jittery Arthur exits stage left.

Visibly guilty over being honored along with the rest of the servicemen in the room, most of whom presumably still go by their real names, Don ditches Betty and the kids to hook up with Bobbie. When he calls her, though, she asks for a rain check on their tryst so she can spend the day with her son. Don expresses surprise over the fact she has kids, as he assumed her vagina functioned more as a handle than a baby dispenser. So rather than head back inside or drive to the office or something, he opts to go home alone and drink milk while frowning. Interesting choice.

The next day at the office, Roger tells Don to end his long-standing staredown with Duck. Don plays dumb, insisting he has no qualms, but Roger says he's been living around women long enough to know when somebody has their bitch on. Reluctantly, Draper agrees to a hatchet-burying lunch date, but stops by Duck's office instead. His nemesis, humbled by the American Airlines fiasco, plus the fact that his life is nothing but lonliness and tears right now, wants to start fresh, and Don agrees – so long as Duck starts selling Don's ideas to clients, and not the other way around. "Tell Roger we had lunch," he says before leaving. Later, and alone again, former alcoholic Duck considers diving headfirst off the wagon and bathing his face in delicious scotch, but stops when he notices Chauncey looking on in silent disapproval. So, after flirting with the audience's sympathies for most of the episode, Duck does the only sensible thing one can do in this situation: He lugs his loyal friend downstairs and abandons him by the side of the road so he can go back to his office and get wasted guilt free.

Infidelity abounds for latter half of the episode as Pete gives in to a dormant habit of a different kind, getting it on with one of Sterling Cooper's less attractive Marilyn/Jackie cast-offs and almost certainly impregnanting her in the process. Bobbie gets around to meeting back up with Don, and he continues to be creepily rough with her. This time, when he learns that he has a growing reputation among the women of Manhattan (news that understandably freaks him out), he barks at Bobbie to "stop talking," and eventually leaves her tied to the bed. At home the next morning, he's shaving in front of the mirror, and looks mildly horrified at his own reflection. What's wrong with him? Does Sally cooing "I'm not going to talk, Daddy. I don't want you to cut yourself" remind him of how he left Bobbie?

As for Peggy's desire to infiltrate those after-hours brainstorming sessions, she gets the same advice for the second week in a row, this time from Joan: Dress sexier. Despite my repeated pleas of "God, no," Peggy listens. The Sterling Cooper boys are at a strip club hanging out with the Playtex people, and she shows up looking "sexy." It seems to work out pretty well for her, though, as she's accepted with open arms, literally, from the Playtex exec who plops her on his lap.

Best lines:
Paul, on which category Joan falls into:
"Marilyn is really a Joan, not the other way around."

Pete, on Peggy's holiday plans:
"So, the libraries were closed yesterday. What did you do?"