Ethan: Sorry, Georgia
you can't let Georgia Southern score 21 points and expect to keep the top spot. See you boys in the Capital One Bowl, although I'll really just be watching for the mascot contest. You want to be a big USC homer now?
Ethan: We'll see if they're still at the top spot in two weeks after they play Ohio State. I did like USC's scheduling strategy, though. Instead of playing some little cupcake school, they did something only marginally ballsier and played a bad BCS conference school on the road. For some reason beating UVA sounds much more impressive than beating a school with a compass direction in the name. Since it never gets less fun: remember when Michigan was good at football?
Amir: No, not really. Is it weird that I still blame Lloyd Carr?
Ethan: Not at all. Next year they'll probably just schedule some Pop Warner team from Flint, then lose by 23. On the topic of perennial disappointments, when is Clemson going to stop being so highly regarded in the preseason? Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me fifteen consecutive seasons, shame on the person who gave me an AP poll ballot.
Amir: I saw a piece on their thunder and lightning, Spiller and Davis, and was convinced! Then I saw they were downgraded to a tropical depression by Alabama. Not unlike Gustav.
Ethan: You worried about Ohio State if Beanie's out for a while? Tressel says he's going to be fine, but they've got the mighty Bobcats of Ohio coming to town on Saturday. This could turn into a 45-point game without Wells.
Amir: I think Ohio State learned their lesson from the past couple years and they're not going to wait until January to lose a big game. They're gonna get it out of the way in September against USC, and I respect that. What's your favorite Kevin Craft pun of the week?
Ethan: Something about him being Crafty, I suppose. Or a reference to the 1996 Neve Campbell witch movie The Craft, which he is almost certainly better than. I loved Phil Fulmer's face in overtime. He hasn't looked that surprise since his McDonald's order was one McRib short, and he didn't realize until after he'd eaten the bag and receipt.
Amir: "Limited time, my ass!"
Ethan: Great story for Rick Neuheisel, though; I'm glad America's a country where someone who seems that sleazy can still get a second chance. You haven't pointed out that my Deacs dismantled Baylor last week. I'm thinking we're Emerald-Bowl bound at the very worst.
Amir: That does sound like the very worst. My favorite score of the weekend was Oklahoma 57, Chattanooga 2. Somehow that is more embarrassing than 57-0. Not sure how though
Ethan: Kentucky dropped the same bomb on Louisville with a 27-2. The safety just feels like charity at some point. "Awwww
you can't score points? Here's two. Now, next time you'll have to earn them. No? Okay. Well, you tried." How excited are you for the NFL season to start?
Amir: The greatest part about Week 1 is that even games like Lions/Falcons (The Joey Harrington Bowl) or Jets/Dolphins (The Chad Pennington Bowl) sound interesting! Cardinals/Niners (The Bryant Johnson Bowl) will still be unwatchable though.
Ethan: Mike Martz is only going to watch that one because Josh Morgan's a deep sleeper on his fantasy team. What team is going to be the biggest disappointment this year?
Amir: Is it still disappointing if you know they're going to lose? Like the Lions? I think the Jets missing the playoffs after winning the Favre sweepstakes is going to be pretty disappointing.?
Ethan: People are really high on the Browns, but I don't see it. Jamal Lewis probably doesn't have another season like last one left in the tank at his age, and Derek Anderson might have been playing above his now-concussed head. That could be a 6-10 team. I kind of like the Rams to surprise people. The division's still awful, and if they're healthy, they could go 9-7 and sneak into the playoffs. Who's your sleeper?
Amir: The Eagles may not have wide receivers, but their defense got better and they play St. Louis, Chicago, San Francisco, Atlanta, Arizona, Baltimore and Cleveland. Even Donovan McNabb looks young next to Kurt Warner, and talented next to Joe Flacco.
Ethan: Is Flacco going to be considerably worse than the Ravens' usual starting QBs? I'd guess not. Sure, he's no Elvis Grbac, but he's probably not Jeff Blake, either. Who's your big fantasy sleeper for the year?
Ethan: I'm sticking with Steve Slaton for mine. He was so good in college, and Ahman Green's so old the Texans are using a coffin instead of a stretcher to take him off the field. Biggest fantasy bust?
Amir: Josh Scobee. I see him going as early as the 16th round! Also I think Randy Moss will fall back to earth this season and put up non-incredible numbers.
Ethan: Mine's in the same vein. I think Brady will be really, really good, but he's not going to get 50 TDs again, which he sort of needs to be going as high as third in drafts. Got an interesting fact for us?
Amir: Which Tennessee QB filled in for Heath Shuler, and played so poorly Phillip Fulmer had to go with third string freshman Peyton Manning?
Ethan: I wish the answer could be "Option QB Peerless Price," but I know it's not.
Amir: It is Todd Helton! Take that, expectations!
Ethan: I hope this means that Peyton plays first base for the Rockies when Helton's contract finally expires. I think that happens sometime around 2024, a season in which he'll make $1.2 billion dollars.
Ethan: Until next week: football. Yes. Good.
If you're interested to see various random sports jerseys, check out Amir and Ethan's blog StraightCashHomey.net