I just adopted a cat a few months ago, which I thought was a really nice thing to do.The other day I stumbled upon her day planner…and what I found was chilling.

Tootsie's schedule for September 8th, 2008

5:30am: Wake Up
5:31am: Go wake up Lady
5:45am: Eat kibble Lady gave me
6:00am: Throw up
6:01am: Eat throw up
9:00am: Lady wakes up
9:01am: Scratch Lady
9:30am: Lick Lady's knee while she eats breakfast
9:31am: Bite Lady
10:00am: Trip Lady as she's walking out the door for class
10:01-10:31am: Meow
10:32am: Poop/Pee
10:33am: Play in litter box
10:34am: Step in poop
10:35am: Leave poo paw prints on the bathroom floor
10:40am-5:00pm: Lick genitals
5:15pm: Lady comes home from class
5:16pm: Scratch Lady
5:20pm: Play with string
6:00pm: Kill Lady
6:01pm: Eat leftover kibble
6:10pm: Throw up
6:11pm: Eat throw up
6:15pm: Bed

Creepy! I'm glad I found this before she got her chance to kill me. Needless to say I had her put down the next day! (: