Ethan: Cheer up, Buckeyes fans. If only field goals counted, you would have won 3-0!
Amir: It takes a strong man to admit that he's wrong, but last week when I predicted a USC beat down by at least three touchdowns well I guess I should have said four touchdowns and I'm sorry!
Amir: What's there to talk about? They're going to be favored by at least 14 in every game this season so barring a major meltdown they're going to run the table with all nine of their running backs.
Ethan: Oregon could give them some trouble in a few weeks, but that's a home game. Also, if Charlie Weis gets off the injury report in time for their game against Notre Dame, watch out! True or false: knocking Weis down will probably be the most impressive thing Michigan does all season.
Amir: The most impresive thing Michigan has done all season was make Lloyd Carr look like an amazing coach for actually leading this team to a winning record. Who is more embarrassed right now: Rich Rodriguez or Rick Neuheisel?
Ethan: Neuheisel, I guess. 59-0 against BYU? I'm pretty sure Brigham Young himself caught a touchdown pass at some point in the game. Neuheisel is probably wondering what the best way to get out of the job is at this point. Suicide pool? For-profit fantasy league? Faking his own death? So many possibilities. Did you see Auburn win 3-2? I think the SEC is going to be an exciting conference once they start allowing the forward pass.
Amir: That's nothing. Florida beat Tennessee 1-0 last year. Don't ask.
Ethan: Who's going to win this weekend, Tennessee or Florida?
Amir: Florida. Why?
Ethan: Just curious. Phil Fulmer told me the same thing. Then he sobbed a lot and wiped away his tears with a three-foot hoagie.
Amir: Speaking of things that are a yard short, how did you like that DeSean Jackson pre-touchdown spike? Pretty creative, right!
Ethan: No more premature than your shifting from college football before picking a winner in the other two big games this weekend. LSU or Auburn? Wake or Florida State?
Amir: LSU's QB by comittee is going down on the road in a loud environment especially if Auburn holds them to a single safety. And if Wake struggled that much at home against Ole Miss they don't stand a chance at Florida State. Also, you went to Wake so I hope they lose.
Ethan: Can Auburn score points? The 3-2 against Mississippi State is odd, so is the fact that they only scored 27 on Southern Miss. I'm going to take LSU here. And in the other game, I'll take Wake even though I'm nervous about it. Would you rather have LSU's QBs or Carson Palmer start a game for you right now?
Amir: I'd rather change my last name to any spanish number than have Carson Palmer start a game for me right now. I like that the Bengals came up from the depths of mediocrity for one breath in 2004 and now they seem to be going back down into the trenches where they belong. Where's Akili Smith when you need him?
Ethan: Possibly trying out as a receiver in Seattle. Do you think Ed Hochuli sees a scowling Norv Turner in his nightmares?
Amir: I think anybody who ever saw Norv Turner sees him in their nightmares. Looks like San Diego is officially cursed. Oh well, they tried.?/p>
Ethan: Marty also lost 2 games in his last regular season. He just spaced them out more.
Amir:Now that the Chargers, Indy, and Jacksonville are 1-5 is New England still in the mix to win the AFC? And please keep the Steelers out of this, they only beat Cleveland and Houston.
Amir: Why are all the great runningbacks stuck on terrible teams? Adrian Peterson, LaDainian Tomlinson, Steven Jackson are 0-6. That's not including Julius Jones! Mainly because he's not good anymore.
Ethan: You forgot the Lions are looking at Shaun Alexander. Sure, they're 0-2 now, but Jon Kitna thinks if they pick up a former MVP, the good Lord will guide them to a 14-2 record. Not perfect, but it's respectable enough. After the Monday night game, are the Eagles and Cowboys co-favorites in the NFC?
Amir: Call me old fashioned, but I think you need a defense that can hold your opponent under 35 to win your conference. Did you see Arizona is 2-0 for the first time in 17 years? Which is also the last time Kurt Warner looked this good.
Ethan: Yeah, but Anquan Boldin keeps saying he wants to be traded. Maybe to the Dolphins, which makes me wonder if he knows the names of any other NFL teams. Why would the Dolphins want him, though? They've got Ted Ginn, Jr.! And Chad Pennington. High-octane attack. The Panthers are 2-0, too. You a believer?
Amir: They're a team of destiny! And now Steve Smith is back so let the losing begin!
Ethan: At least the sideline will be more violent with the little guy around. Do you think the Mets are going to campaign to have the season shortened to 140 games next year? "162 just seems excessive, you now? Quality over quantity, Selig."
Amir: They'll stumble towards any finish line, regardless of where it is.
Ethan: I'm just glad the Phillies get to be the beneficiaries of their focus. Got an interesting fact for the week?
Amir: DeSean Jackson, who many in Philadelphia are calling the black Chase Utley, actually went to the same high school as Utley! Now to get the nickname "Black Chase Utley" to catch on
Ethan: Which explains why Chase sometimes walks towards second to make a force play, then just throws down the ball instead. If you're a baller, you gotta celebrate like one. Until next week, get excited for Rams-Seahawks!
Amir: Somebody has to win! Unless they tie.
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