Where We Last Left Our Heroes: Hiro dispatched of Adam Monroe by burying him alive, Peter stopped the virus from being unleashed after trying to unleash it, Maya went to Mohinder to get her to stop crying black goo but ended up bringing Sylar along for a cure to his impotence, Nikki got all blown up, and Nathan was shot just as he was about to finish his long-winded speech about how he can fly. And in the final chilling scene, Sylar grabbed a can of spinach. DUN DUN DUNNNNN!!!


This Week On Heroes: Peter is running quickly past some warehouses…except it isn't Peter at all! It's…FuturePeter! And just like PresentPeter, he forgets that he can fly, teleport, and who knows what else instead of wasting time by running. Apparently things suck pretty hard in the future (as always), as FutureClaire puts a gun to Peter's head. She's upset that the future sucks so much as well, and plans on taking it out on the one person in the future who has so many powers that a gun could never pose any sort of threat at all. Regardless, she tries to shoot him right as he travels back in time to "change things."

Who Shot Nathan? Turns out, FuturePeter shot Nathan, to stop him from destroying the future by telling everyone about the heroes. Sure, he could have stopped time and teleported Nathan outta there, but shooting works too. FuturePeter doesn't want anyone knowing what he did, though, so he warns Claire not to come to Odessa, teleports Matt to the Sahara desert, and…puts PresentPeter somewhere safe.

How's Claire Doin'? Sylar meets up with Claire at the Bennett house and plays a game of Michael Myers-esque stalking with her. After nearly being the most awful bad guy ever (by being beaten up by Claire-Bear), he manages to do the impossible and open up her skull and steal her power. But Sylar's a nice guy 'n all, so he lets her keep her skull. He tells her that she's special and can't be killed. Which is totally true, unless you have a branch. He swipes one of Noah's files on his way out…something about "Level 5." Claire can't feel anything anymore, which makes her upset enough to try to stand in front of a train. Eat that, other emo kids who are still cutting their wrists as a cry for help.

Hiro's Okay, Right? Hiro and Ando, meanwhile, are bored at the head offices of Yamagato Industries, due to lack of quests involving ancient swords. Luckily, Kaito recorded a message for Hiro, telling him to protect a secret formula. Naturally, the formula is immediately stolen by a "speedster" chick who can run real fast. Hiro decides to see what the future would be like with the formula stolen. As it always works on this show, he ends up in city being decimated (Tokyo this time, New York finally catches a break), and sees FutureAndo kill FutureHiro with red lightning power. Which is awesome and unsettling. Hiro returns to Ando, now a bit more distrusting, and tells him they have to get the formula back! They don't, but they are now on the speedster's trail.

So Nathan Dies? Nathan survives the shooting after FuturePeter kisses his forehead, and thinks that God saved him. Nikki (now going by Tracy Strauss, and not burned to a crisp for some reason) is working for the governor of New York, who wants to give Nathan back his Senate seat. Nikki/Jessica/Tracy offers Nathan the position, which he accepts, but not after recognizing her as a stripper from Vegas. Tracy is not aware of her past, but when a nosy journalist pesters her, she accidentally freezes him to death.

Don't Mention Mohinder or Maya, Please. Mohinder and Maya figure out that powers originate in adrenaline, not blood. The people posting on the Heroes Wikipedia furiously try to edit and find reasons as to why Claire's blood healed people before. Maya tells Mohinder that giving people powers may not be a good idea, because – hey – check out these bleeding eyes. But Mohinder replies, "No way, all powers are awesome and everyone should have unimaginably destructive abilities." Mohinder uses this discovery to give himself super-strength, which goes pretty well until he super-sexes Maya and his skin starts peeling off. By the way, Maya and Mohinder? Dumpiest couple ever. Also, they will have beautiful babies with terrible personalities.

More Sylar! Sylar ends up breaking into Level 5 (which is the prison for all of the worst villains) and has a little battle with Elle, the result of which is that all of the prisoners get out. There's a fire guy, a Magneto-guy, a guy who uses fear as power, and a beefy Hispanic guy whose power we don't know. Also, FuturePeter put PresentPeter in his mind! Also, this guy is Weevil from Veronica Mars, for the zero of you who watched Veronica Mars. They all escape and go cause a ruckus at a gas station and Noah Bennett escapes to try and stop them. Who shall he leave at home to make sure Claire and Mama Bennett are okay? How about Claire's deadbeat fire-creating birth mom? Yeah, that oughta do it.


Is FuturePeter Still Hanging Around? FuturePeter is slightly concerned he mayyyy have screwed up the timeline. Mama Petrelli tells him to go away and bring back her PresentPeter. Then she goes to visit Sylar, who is laying in a cell in Level 5 after getting knocked out, and tells him, "Luke, I am your father." Well, replace "Luke" with "Gabriel," and "father" with "non-sensical plot twist that is still pretty crazy and cool."


In Summary:
FuturePeter messed up everything, Claire got brain-raped, Hiro and Ando are chasing Ms. Flash, Nathan and Nikki/Tracy are headin' for DC, PresentPeter is stuck in a Hispanic villain, other villains are running amok, Mohinder is literally falling apart, Matt is wandering through Africa, and Sylar is a Petrelli.


Highlights:

-Matt thanking the turtle for the helpful advice

-"That's disgusting."

-FutureAndo has lightning powers!!!

-"Save ourselves, save the world."

-Hiro being pissed at Ando for betraying him…in the future

-The Company's video of their attempted apprehension of Sylar

-No Micah at all