Free for all! Entertaining for none!
I hate when people tell me a book is a real page turner. I know how books work.
I've always fancied myself as a sort of "Renaissance Man", in that my lack of hygiene and sanitation knowledge has caused the death of almost every single member of my family by way of plague.
Adding 10 vitamins & minerals to Lucky Charms is like putting a bouncy castle in Nazi Germany.
Bob Dylan hosts Jeopardy!Dylan: The answer, my friend, is blowing in the wind.
Contestant: What is my kite?
I find it odd that people refer to sex as "the birds and the bees," because I talk about birds AND bees more than anyone, yet somehow I'm still a virgin.
I may not know anything about "the election" or "english" but denk de appel gaatwinnen. Dan he' ll ben onze eerste minister of iets! lol.
Dimensions in which that shirt looks good on you-The Bizarro Dimension
-The It's-Always-Opposite-Day Dimension
-The All-Shirts-Look-Awesome-On-Everyone Dimension
-The No-One-Has-Eyeballs-And-So-Your-Guess-Is-As-Good-As-Mine Dimension
-Specifically Not This Dimension
Last winter I was climbing Mt. Everest and explaining to one of my friends that I was magic and could make things happen just by saying them. He didn't believe me, so I yelled "avalanche!"