"Somali pirates seize ship with 33 tanks" -CNN.com


Somewhere off the coast of Africa, on the deck of a hijacked boat…

Pirate 1: Man, I love being a pirate.

Pirate 2: Me too.

Pirate 3: Check this out!

Pirate 3 punches innocent bystander in the stomach.

Pirates 1 & 2: Awesome!

Pirate 3: Sorry, bystander. Pirate thing.

Bystander: (cough) It's cool.

Pirate 1: All right, enough horsing around, you guys. Let's go steal some treasure.

Pirates: Yeah!

The Pirates pry open one of 33 cargo containers. They stare at the contents.

Pirate 1: What… what am I looking at here?

Pirate 2: Looks like… huh. I don't know. I was expecting a lot more gold. And treasure. Fewer big metal things.

Pirate 3: Maybe the big metal thing is made out of gold.

Pirate 2: Isn't gold usually gold-colored?

Pirate 1: Pirate 2 does raise a good point.

Pirate 3: Here, there's a label on the box. It says it's a… "ta-ank."

Pirate 1: Oh, a tank! Of course.

Pirate 3: What's a tank?

Pirate 1: Ha! Pirate 3 doesn't know what a tank is.

Pirate 3: Shut up! You don't either!

Pirate 1: What, you think that just because I've spent all of my life on the pirate boat, I don't have any knowledge beyond nautical matters?

Pirate 3: That is what I think, yes.

Pirate 1: Shows what you know. A tank is… well… it's a kind of coral.

Pirate 3: Ha!

Pirate 1: Okay, fine. Curse my exclusively seaborne lifestyle! Pirate 2, you were a landlubber once. What do you make of this?

Pirate 2: You guys kidnapped me when I was four and then keelhauled my parents. I can't really remember much before then.

Pirate 3: Why? Because of all the mental scarring?

Pirate 2: (stares at his feet) …yes.

Bystander: Actually, guys, if I can cut in: a tank is an armored assault vehicle, meant for cutting through infantry and fortified positions while maintaining a superior tactical defense and battlefield mobility.

Pirate 3 punches innocent bystander in the stomach.

Pirate 3: Thanks!

Bystander: (cough) No problem.

Pirate 1: That was going to be my second guess, anyway. Well, men, these weapons are now property of the Pirates!

Pirates: Hooray!

Pirate 1: To arms!

Pirate 1 hops into a tank, cranks the accelerator, and drives into the ocean.

Pirates 2 & 3 watch in silence.

Pirate 3: Was it supposed to float?

Bystander: Not explicitly, no.

Pirate 2: (whispers) I think I would have preferred some treasure.