1. Taser yourself in the nuts. No seriously, it's awesome. "When I start flailing, you come over here and rip these things off of me, alright buddy?" Idiot.
  2. The cutest letter opener… ever. Even cuter, this letter is actually addressed to Santa, and it's written by a puppy named Giggles.
  3. If you have a third nipple, you might as well pierce it. Or get it removed… either one. I don't think the term, "If you've got it, flaunt it" applies to third nipples.
  4. Meet me on the corner. I'll be the guy with the Arm Penis. And the penis on this guy's arm is 6 and a half inches. Flaccid. I don't know whether I should be sympathetic or jealous.
  5. These guys really needed to do their laundry. These guys had a van full of over 18,000 dollars in quarters. And hundreds of dollars worth of stuffed animals from claw machines.

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Tom Sunnergren's totally PC update

Pic of the Day
Sub-Zero wins!