I was feeling a little nostalgic the other day, so I started looking through Halloween costumes online, and I stumbled across a classic. The green ranger. No, not the guy from Yogi Bear. I'm talking about the Mighty Morphin Power Ranger who rode a gigantic metallic dragon and did karate – not just any karate, but the kind every kid could magically do after watching the show.


Now there's a costume that was the shit when you were a kid. Everyone and their spazzy friend Patrick dressed up like one of the brightly colored rangers. My sister was the pink one.


Now as you get older your costumes no doubt will get a little more mature, like a dirty cop, a dirty nurse, or a dirty stock trader, but along with your costume so does your idea of a cool costume. Looking back on it now, the Power Rangers were actually a shining example of anti – political correctness.


I know I know you're saying "Bu bu but they fought evil with gigantic robots and saved the teen student center EVERY DAY!" True. They did indeed defeat evildoers with big robots that joined together at the joints (On a quick side note why didn't they just turn into the big robot right away? That always pissed me off the average run time of the show would have been decreased about 15 minutes and there would be a lot less prancing around posing. I mean seriously I have kickball to play.)


BUT! I'm sure I'm not the first one to notice this but the racist directors of the show thought they could pull a fast one on us with their casting. Think about it. Red Ranger? A redneck high school kid that always fought kids as a hobby. Black Ranger? Token Black guy. The only black guy in the entire town, who taught a dance studio in his spare time. WHY COULDN'T THE BLUE RANGER DANCE? Oh wait that's right he was too busy playing with his chemistry set. Damn terrorist. Ok ok on to the Yellow Ranger – a young Asian girl named Trini. Yet again the ONLY Asian person on the entire show. Does anybody see a pattern here? Then of course you have the classic American girl with barrettes who does non-stop gymnastics all day long, and is the object of every dude's affection on the show. All they would have needed was an orange ranger in a wheelchair and they would have had a local community college ad! EMMY!
 

Now I'm sure that this could all be considered coincidence, but lets just say I've never seen a white jock, a dorky Asian girl, a dancing African American kid and a person in a wheelchair high fiving in the middle of the college green underneath a beautiful turning autumn tree.


Touché Power Rangers, YOU ALMOST HAD US FOOLED! But good job on staying on for about 15 years now. Kids obviously don't realize the irony, but they still like the idea of sparks shooting out of their chest when they get sliced with a laser battle axe, which I tried, but lets just say it's not as exciting in real life when you're getting screamed at while your neighbor sits in the ER with a laser charred sternum. Anyways, until tomorrow РIT'S MORPHIN TIME!