David
(walking in): Dude. You have GOT to hear about my night.

Miles:
David.

David:
Yeah?

Miles:
You're naked again.

David:
I know, right? I woke up at the zoo! … Well. In the zoo.

Miles:
(Sighs.) Which part?

David:
Ahhh in the antelope habitat, I think?

Miles:
You think.

David:
I mean, there weren't any around when I woke up, but it's entirely possible I ate them all. Definitely the baby ones, though. I've been sh*tting fur all morn—

Miles:
Look, while we're on the topic of your… condition, which you SWORE wouldn't affect our living situation…

David:
Yeah?

Miles:
There's a half-eaten dead guy in my closet.

David:
Ah. Crap.

Miles:
Yeah. It wouldn't be such a big deal, it's just… you still haven't finished that mostly-eaten dead guy you stuffed under my bed on Thursday. And it smells.

David:
(Sniffs.) Is that what that is?

Miles:
…Pretty sure.

David:
Well… You're welcome to some of that if you want, you know. Mi dead guy es su dead guy, and all. That's what roomies are for.

Miles:
Is it? Look. David. I told you what happened with my last roommate, right?

David:
Yeah, man. But vampires are 'mos. Werewolves are bros. I mean, we get along pretty well, don't we? And you only have to deal with the whole chewed up corpse thing like once a month at most.

Miles:
But then there's the howling outside our window at 4 in the morning…

David:
OK that part can't be helped. Have you ever SEEN my lupine musculature under that street lamp out there? Don't take that away from me.

Miles
(Looking over at half-eaten dead guy): I think that's my Biology professor.

David:
Hey, as long as we're talking, you mind if I grab a beer out of that mini fridge? I'm about to get the shakes over here.

Miles:
Whatever you say, Michael J. Fox.

David:
WHOA WHOA WHOA. Not cool. Say what you want about me, man, but please… leave The Fox out of it, OK? (Opens can, takes a sip.) …Shit, that kind of stings a litt— (Coughs.) Ow. Oh God. What brand is this!?