Adam Ruins Everything
Jake and Amir
October 31, 2008
: Dude. You have
to hear about my night.
You're naked again.
I know, right? I woke up at the zoo! Well.
Ahhh in the antelope habitat, I think?
I mean, there weren't any around when I woke up, but it's entirely possible I ate them all. Definitely the baby ones, though. I've been sh*tting fur all morn
Look, while we're on the topic of your
, which you
wouldn't affect our living situation
There's a half-eaten dead guy in my closet.
Yeah. It wouldn't be such a big deal, it's just you still haven't finished that
-eaten dead guy you stuffed under my bed on Thursday. And it smells.
Is that what that is?
Well You're welcome to some of that if you want, you know. Mi dead guy es su dead guy, and all. That's what roomies are for.
Is it? Look. David. I told you what happened with
my last roommate
Yeah, man. But vampires are 'mos. Werewolves are
. I mean, we get along pretty well, don't we? And you only have to deal with the whole chewed up corpse thing like once a month
But then there's the howling outside our window at 4 in the morning
OK that part can't be helped. Have you ever
my lupine musculature under that street lamp out there? Don't take that away from me.
(Looking over at half-eaten dead guy)
I think that's my Biology professor.
Hey, as long as we're talking, you mind if I grab a beer out of that mini fridge? I'm about to get the shakes over here.
Whatever you say, Michael J. Fox.
cool. Say what you want about me, man, but please leave The Fox out of it, OK?
(Opens can, takes a sip.)
Shit, that kind of stings a litt
Ow. Oh God. What brand is this!?
We like you. Do you like us too?
Don't ask me again.