David (walking in): Dude. You have GOT to hear about my night.
Miles: You're naked again.
David: I know, right? I woke up at the zoo! Well. In the zoo.
Miles: (Sighs.) Which part?
David: Ahhh in the antelope habitat, I think?
Miles: You think.
David: I mean, there weren't any around when I woke up, but it's entirely possible I ate them all. Definitely the baby ones, though. I've been sh*tting fur all morn
Miles: Look, while we're on the topic of your condition, which you SWORE wouldn't affect our living situation
Miles: There's a half-eaten dead guy in my closet.
David: Ah. Crap.
Miles: Yeah. It wouldn't be such a big deal, it's just you still haven't finished that mostly-eaten dead guy you stuffed under my bed on Thursday. And it smells.
David: (Sniffs.) Is that what that is?
Miles: Pretty sure.
David: Well You're welcome to some of that if you want, you know. Mi dead guy es su dead guy, and all. That's what roomies are for.
Miles: Is it? Look. David. I told you what happened with my last roommate, right?
David: Yeah, man. But vampires are 'mos. Werewolves are bros. I mean, we get along pretty well, don't we? And you only have to deal with the whole chewed up corpse thing like once a month at most.
Miles: But then there's the howling outside our window at 4 in the morning
David: OK that part can't be helped. Have you ever SEEN my lupine musculature under that street lamp out there? Don't take that away from me.
Miles (Looking over at half-eaten dead guy): I think that's my Biology professor.
David: Hey, as long as we're talking, you mind if I grab a beer out of that mini fridge? I'm about to get the shakes over here.
Miles: Whatever you say, Michael J. Fox.
David: WHOA WHOA WHOA. Not cool. Say what you want about me, man, but please leave The Fox out of it, OK? (Opens can, takes a sip.) Shit, that kind of stings a litt (Coughs.) Ow. Oh God. What brand is this!?