FACTS:

Ben and Jerry's has announced free ice cream on election day (//www.benjerry.com/features/i_voted/).

Post this announcement, Obama dropped 9 points on recent poles(//www.reuters.com/article/politicsNews/idUSTRE49J0LF20081025).

Clearly Ben and Jerry's determined an Obama slanted customer base and has been influenced by the McCain campaign to suppress voter turnout by handing out free ice cream as an alternative to voting. Pleased with the results of its tactics the McCain campaign has announced it is funding a free bucket of chicken day at KFC, and an all day party at Red Lobster with free Old English and Hennessy flowing from the bar.

Not to be outdone, the obama campaign has announced tailgates with Lynard Skynard tribute bands and free cases of Bud Light throughout most of the midwest and posted flyers for free anonymous handjobs in men's bathroom stalls in all federal buildings.

Projected future: Ralph Nader takes the election by a landslide.