It's been an entire week since your last confession and there's been a lot of good, solid sinning going on across the country. Check out the top 5 and don't forget to submit your misdeeds here.
Billy, because you wouldn't shower, we would febreeze you while you slept. Also, stop calling yourself Billy, your name is Bih-Chuan.
Phil C, Maryland
Remember how every week freshman year all the guys on our floor would get hammered and never get caught while you would just sit in our room and do homework because you wanted to be a RA the next year. Isn't it funny though that the one time you did drink, you got in caught and fined and automatically disqualified from the RA selection process. Maybe you shouldn't throw a basketball at my girlfriend's face from three feet away in a sad attempt to be flirty. Especially when I'm in the room.
M G, St. Thomas
So, now that you're 8000 miles and an entire ocean away, you want to talk shit. Listen, you're like the 7th guy IN A ROW she's been engaged to. You're not special, you're a statistic. You're number 8 and Tuesday to her. By the way, yeah, we slept together like 9 times while you we're together. Nothing like seeing them thighs quiver! I hope she has your chud baby.
Jacob A., US Navy
Some friends and I went backpacking through Europe this past summer and spent some time traveling with these cool dudes we met in Italy. Except for Dave. Dave was apparently having a horrible time because his girlfriend cheated on him with some French dude and abandoned him in Paris. He complained about everything we did, where we stayed, what we ate, etc. I'm Croatian, and so our next stop was Croatia and we invited the cool dudes to come with us. By this time, Dave was becoming unbearable. My family was kind enough to put us all up for a few days, cook for us, do our laundry, even let us borrow their cars (all for FREE) and Dave was just a straight up douche to everyone. We were walking through a town one day and he would not shut up about how hot it was and how pissed he was we didn't go to the beach. We'd all had enough of Dave at this point so I let my traveling companions in on a plan. I told Dave that when it got this hot in Croatia, it was tradition to jump off the dock into the ocean while screaming a certain phrase, and if he'd just shut up for another hour, we could all jump in. So we all went down to the dock, I taught everyone how to say the "traditional phrase," and we did the whole "everyone jump on 3" bit. Thing is, Dave was the only one that jumped. What we didn't tell Dave was that no one ever swims in that water because it's where the city sewage system drains out, and the phrase he screamed at the top of his lungs was, "I suck dick for free!" Needless to say, Dave was not too happy with me. He left 2 days later while the rest of his friends hung out with my family for a week. We didn't miss Dave, but my family sure loved the story.
Olivia K, School Not Given
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