Ethan: See, the system works! Every week really is like a playoff, and if Iowa's in said playoff, it's even easier to get into than the 8th seed in the NBA's Eastern Conference. Do you think this is the angriest Paterno's been since 1826?
Ethan: Well, at least he's got a Rose Bowl bid coming if he wins out. This weekend definitely was the high point of the college football season for me so far because I love a good effigy-burning. Take that, Nick Saban! Does it just add insult to more insults that Alabama actually won?
Amir: It must feel good to be Saban, walk into a stadium of 93,000 people who hate you, and ruin their day. It's like the opposite of a really big pep rally.
Ethan: Texas Tech as a bye week. That means Graham Harrell will probably only throw for 400 yards and 4 TDs, right?
Amir: Are college football quarterbacks this good ever great in the NFL? Doesn't he know he's only setting himself up for a Tim-Couch esque let down?
Ethan: Hey, tell that to Colt Brennan, Timmy Chang, Ty Detmer, and
okay, you're right. One of these years, though, someone's going to pull off a strong transition. How about Utah? They haven't looked this good since they had Alex Smith at QB. (And how about the Niners? They haven't looked this bad since they had Alex Smith at QB.)
Amir: I, for one, cannot wait for the Mormon bowl of Utah vs. Brigham Young. The most respectful football game ever. Loser has to divorce their wife of 4 years.
Ethan: Hey, don't let the Utes look past San Diego State this weekend. Sure, the Aztecs are 1-9, but some of those losses were against tough teams. Cal Poly is no cupcake! Who you like this week in the South Carolina-Florida game?
Amir: Spurrier will not pull a Saban and win at his old stomping ground. He simply doesn't have the hair to pull it off!
Ethan: Also can't help that South Carolina's never won at Florida. Although I like the idea of Spurrier and Tebow talking about having the Hesiman trophy. "You use it to get chicks, coach?" "Naw, that's what this visor's for. Ladies eat this up, Tim." Will the Titans ever lose?
Amir: Signs point to no. If they can get through Indy, Green Bay and @Chicago, certainly they can get through Jacksonville, Jets, Detroit, and Cleveland. Then they're just three games away from perfection! Then it's just two more games until a frustrating SuperBowl loss to the Giants. Who said last year was different than this?
Ethan: Not me! I believed in Tyler Thigpen then, and I believe in him now. Did you know he couldn't make the Vikings' roster last year? They kept Brooks Bollinger, Tarvaris Jackson, and Drew Henson instead. Although, really, you can't blame them for keeping Henson; they really wanted to have a good softball team.
Amir: I thought the Chiefs this year are just a really good softball team. Do you like Herm Edwards mustering up the courage, rolling the dice, going for the gold!!! And coming up empty against the Chargers?
Ethan: You. Play. To. Win. The. Game. I liked the call. Why not go for the win there? Even if you feel like it's only got a 50-50 chance of working, that's the same odds that you have of winning the OT coin flip. Much more defensible than Martz and Singletary's backup-RB run on the last play on Monday night, no?
Amir: Hey, Martz' fantasy opponent had Gore and he was nursing a 2 point lead, okay?!
Amir: What happened to flex scheduling? Isn't that a thing that should be happening soon? Like
as soon as humanly possible?
Ethan: It's already happening for the Sunday night games, but ESPN has kept the games they originally scheduled so far. I do wish we could see some hot Rams-Niners action on Monday night, though. A combined 4-14 never looked so good. Are you surprised at how good the Hawks are?
Amir: Hey, they took the Celtics to seven games, so that puts them ahead of the Lakers right off the bat. Though lets not overemphasize streaks. Last years the Blazers won 13 in a row, and the Rockets won, I believe, 48 in a row. Atlanta is at six.
Ethan: Whatever, they got that locker room cancer Josh Childress off the continent and now they can't be stopped! Are the Spurs tricking us into thinking they're done again this year?
Amir: Oh, no. I saw a Spurs game. They are done. I know Ginobili and Parker are hurt, but their roster is filled with old veterans and people who you would think were on the Charlotte Bobcats. That Michael Finley to Roger Mason connetion is killer, though.
Ethan: Hey, most teams would kill to have a guy like Mason. His experience with Hapoel Jerusalem for a season is the sort of thing that will lead the Spurs back to a title. Can the Sixers come back to life, or was there a reason Miller-to-Brand didn't work out the first go-round?
Amir: Rule of thumb: If you're going to reassemble a team
don't make it the Clippers.
Ethan: I dunno, the 1999 Grizzlies wouldn't be a good bet, either. And that's if you could even get Bryant Reeves and Cherokee Parks back on the floor together. Got an interesting fact? Maybe "The voters were kidding when they gave Nate McLouth a Gold Glove?"
Amir: We were talking about Martz going for a weird run on fourth and goal, so it wouldn't surprise many to know that the niners are the worst team in the NFL on converting 3rd and 1 opportunities. But guess who is second worst?
Ethan: The Lions?
Amir: Steelers. They are 4 for 12 on third and one. Are there no SuperBowl contenders left?!
Ethan: I still like the Texans as sleepers. Sage Rosenfels has a 7-0 run in that arm of his. Until next week, get excited for Bengals football!