By the 1900's, Smirnoff was rolling out one million bottles per day and everything is about as cool hookers who take food stamps until the Russian Revolution. The distillery is confiscated and the Smirnoff in charge is sentenced to death. However, he manages to escape to Turkey and continue making hooch, demonstrating either dedication or a weird kind of insanity.
By 1934, in the midst of the Great Depression, Smirnoff sells the company to Rudolph Kunett who brings it to the US. Decades later, a near infinite number of college girls stumbling around with fruit juices and steadily lowering inhibitions are his legacy.
When Prohibition forced the shut down of the distillery, Jim Beam left and wandered the country like an entrepreneurial Kwai Chang Kane; growing citrus, then coal mining, then running a lime stone quarry. When Prohibition ended, Jim, now 70 years old, returned to his roots and went right back to making bourbon, driven by a dedication to see his countrymen sh*tfaced.
Cuervo started making mezcal, a drink the locals seemed to enjoy, and then refined it. His descendants followed in his footsteps and named the drink after the town in which was made, Tequila. Years later, the name would be applied to a woman best touched only under its influence, Tila Tequila.
In 1873, Coors moved to Denver and partnered up with a local confectioner, whose kick ass nickname was probably "The Candyman" and started up the Golden Brewery. 7 years later Coors had made enough money to buy out his partner and take sole ownership. The Candyman went on to take a sunrise, sprinkle it with dew, cover it with chocolate and a miracle or two, as chronicled by Sammy Davis Jr.
Daniel ended up working for a neighbor, Dan Call, who was a preacher and a whiskey maker, because back in those days, in the south, you couldn't be one without being the others. By the time he was 13, Daniel owned the whole operation as the good reverend felt he needed to spend more time preaching instead of getting the congregation sauced.
Daniel sold hooch to both sides in the Civil War, because no matter your political leanings, getting sloppy drunk is a unifying habit of all mankind, and used the money to make a real distillery. By 1866, Jack had the first registered distillery in America.
For the rest of his days, Daniel always wore a costume. He was rarely seen in anything but a mustache and goatee combo, a planter's hat and a knee length coat. Add in the fact that he was all of 5'2" and he probably looked like the crazy, drunken Napoleon of the South.
Naturally an Irishman, Guinness started brewing ale back in the mid 1700's and for the most part no one was entirely blown away as it takes effort to impress an Irishman with a glass of booze. Guinness managed to get a lease, for up to 9,000 years, at $45 a year, on an abandoned brewery with the $100 he had been left by his father. Since it's now the largest selling stout in the world, that kick ass yearly rent is probably ensuring the current owners have enough disposable income to go out for dinner at least once a week, every week.
However, when a fire broke out at the brewery and scorched the ever loving shit out of the entire stock of barley, some ingenious brewers decided to shrug and use the burnt stuff anyway. The resulting brew is the Guinness we all know and chew today.
Joseph Seagram, the founder of the distillery, began mixing booze while he worked at a flour mill. Not content to simply be an average joe, he also found the time to become a champion horse breeder, winning several major competitions, and spent several years as president of the Ontario Jockey Club, where he no doubt ruled over legions of jockeys with a whiskey sodden iron fist not unlike Willy Wonka and his Oompa Loompas.
As any good drunk horse breeder will tell you, the two don't fully compliment each other until you throw politics into the mix. Seagram served on town council for a while before finding a position in the Federal government which he held for 8 years before deciding to pack it in and keep his attention focused solely on ensuring people were vomiting his product all across the world