I'll preface this by saying I don't mean to fool you, this has nothing to do with Time Cop starring Jean-Claude Van Damme of Blood sport fame.

So if you are here for a synopsis of that film, I've mislead you and to apologize, i offer you my deepest apologies to temporarily satisfy your insatiable hunger for Time Cop.


Now on with the show..


I turned 24 in late September. Yes, 24! and I'll be the first to admit that I'm not quite sure what I have been doing the past few years as time slips by. Maybe the drugs and alcohol are suspects but I'd rather not point fingers at those two, they're usually too high or drunk to deal with the stress of confrontation and lord knows they always got my back (BFF, I promise). Maybe futile attempts atchasing women around could be the culprit but I have to be honest with myself on this one. Every time I started a chase, it eventually turned into a track meet and then a marathon. I always gave up early citing cramps in my leg and lack of commitment to the team. My coach (Mr. Weinerson) wasn't happy but I like to believe I've found an easier method for now (Google search: boobs).Perhaps it's this damn job? Most recently my situation was dire whilst I struggled to cope with answering inquiries about school furniture via email and then desperately tried to nap during every lunch on a picnic table behind the parking lot.Then again, for the most part I have quit (Depending on your lexicon, this could be interpreted as fired/let go/politely asked to not showup again or my favorite, terminated.) most of my jobs rather quickly. I suppose I'm just kidding myself and you knew the answer all along, that's just the way it is (Everyone who just thought of Tupac's version of 'The way it is' is permitted to leave the room right now without punishment) its aging, its life. It had nothing to do with my excessive use of drugs (woaaah man, you just blew my mind, now hand me those Doritos) or my fruitless hours spent on dinner and passionate slow dancing with sexy ladies (using the term loosely) or even thebiggest time kill of all, work. None of them can hold a candle to the big manin the room " Perception. When you're five years old, a year is one fifth of your life. In comparison, when you're 20, a year is one twentieth of your life,and while the days don't exactly fly by yet, a year doesn't seem like the eternity it was at five. By the time you're 50 and a year is only one fiftieth of the time you've experienced, a year goes by quickly. My days fly by so fast already that I have to sit and ponder like an old man what it is I did 3 days ago. (Oh yes, I remember! sleeping and crying gently, I'm kidding, kind of,maybe, hey buddy don't judge me!) I used to think time was endless when I was a kid nerding out with my video games, sipping on my koollll aid and being picked last at every sport except for 'who can sit down the longest' contests, which no one knew about unless their name was Ryan Elkins (I'd totally hang out with that guy). Even later when I was a high schooler …nerding out… uhh …with my video games…umm… sipping on kool aid and well…winning sit down contests…Ithought I was invincible to time and that it would never catch up to me but here I am now. Here we are now!



Do you realize that you're going to wake up one day and be in your 50's and then before you know it, on your death bed? Yet here we are, too busy with this whole task of making exceptions for the sake of our safety net, be it job security, your parents good graces, your friends opinions…etc


seriously, between me and you…


If you don't like your job,quit it

If you don't like the people in your life, change them

If you don't like your parents, kill them (I'm kidding…..have someone else do it)

Ask her/him out if you find them attractive

Speak up if you have something to say!

And for god sakes take the time to get better at what you love and spend less time idling away in front of the T.V.


In the end, you won't care about your job, your car or your house. What you will care about are the people you love and the things you love doing, so find those people and do those things fast because unlike Jean-Claude Van Damme in Time Cop, we don't have a time traveling machine (yet)

(It's a terrible movie,don't rent it)