Azaria Chamberlain – Ever wonder where the phrase "Dingo stole my baby!" came from? It actually happened. It's a wonder "the dingo theory" hasn't been used more often in courtrooms. Bush v. Gore would have gone in a very different direction, I'll tell you that much.

Gloria Ramirez – Remember how on the old X-Men cartoon, whenever Jean Grey would do anything, she would just instantly faint? This woman is pretty much the opposite of that.

Joplin Spook Light
– A bright little ball bounces off in the far distance, like that annoying fairy in Zelda. No one has come up with a conclusive explanation for what it really is. In related news, someone please cure cancer and stop spending time staring at lights in the distance.

The Michigan Triangle
- Like the Bermuda Triangle's little brother, who dropped out of high school and has been wearing that same pair of jean shorts for at least two months by now. He keeps talking about starting a Weird Al cover band, and that might just be the worst idea I've ever heard of.

Suzanne Davis – This chick has a more complicated history than Ben on Lost. Or Nikki and Paulo. WHEN WILL THE WRITERS LISTEN TO MY FACEBOOK PETITION TO BRING THEM BACK AND FULLY EXPLORE THEIR PASTS? Email me at for details.

Hiroo Onoda – While trying to conduct guerrilla warfare in the Phillipines during WWII, the war ended – a fact Hiroo didn't figure out until about 30 years later. He also believes that Chuck Norris Facts are still funny.