Adam Ruins Everything
Jake and Amir
Conversations With My 92' Volvo
January 8, 2009
: Hey buddy, ya ready to go for a little drive?
: We'll see
: What do you mean we'll see? I need to get to the packy before it closes.
: I meant
.. I don't know if I feel like going anywhere right now, it's cold and I've only got a half a tank in me.
: Well, I really don't think that this is up to you, but how about I let you warm up for a couple of minutes? And maybe I will even bring you to get some gas on our way home?
: You can try and let me warm up, but I'm warning you, I'm gonna screech like a banshee for the majority of the ride.
: What? Why would you do something like that?
! You know I need new belts. You've been neglecting me for months, you haven't even driven me since the summer!
: You know I've been at school dude. Why don't we go for a drive and catch up a little? Listen to some
, like old times. What do ya say?
: Fine, that does sound pretty nice. Lets go!
: That's more like it!
As we pull out of the drive way The Volve begins screeching wildly, while simultaneously sputtering and backfiring.
: Alright old friend, this is ok, We can just turn up the
and get through this together.
: Oh yea, The C.D. player is broken.
: Good God I hate you.
We like you. Do you like us too?
Don't ask me again.