Doctor: Mr. Jones, would you have a seat up on the table?

Oh God.

Mr. Jones: Sure!

Doctor: Alright, we're just going to give you a general physical. I'll take your blood pressure, pulse…

No hernia, no hernia, no hernia…

Doctor: And, of course, we'll do a hernia exam.

It's so cold in here. This is gonna be embarrassing.

Doctor: Would you mind removing your pants?

OK. I can still come out of this with my head held high. If I think about sex just enough so that I'm at half staff, I should be able to impress her.

Doctor: Mr. Jones, you're just staring blankly at the wall. Can we move this along?

Mr. Jones: Sorry.

Boobs. Big floppy boobs. Girl with giant floppy boobs wearing a silly hat.

Doctor: Well then-

Oh God, the silly hat was overkill. I'm at full mast here.

Doctor: …I'll give you a moment to calm down.

Quick, say something clever to save face!

Mr. Jones: I call my testicles quizzicles because they're so small.

Nice.