Happy New Year, everybody!  PCCN has been on a bit of a hiatus lately due to the CH Show, but now it's back and better than ever.  And we're gonna start 2009 off right.  No more f*cking around.  Here are Annalynne McCord and Jenny McCarthy in bikinis, a tit slip from Kate Moss, and Kate Bosworth in a see-through shirt.  Don't tell me I don't take care of you. (WWTDD, Celebslam, Hollywood Tuna, Egotastic)

Let's see what else happened!

Soccer star Cristiano Ronaldo totaled his Ferrari this week after losing control in a tunnel.  Despite the car being completely destroyed, Ronaldo walked away completely fine.  Which is either a total miracle or the premise of J.J. Abram's next project. (IDLYITW)

Lisa Bonet and her boyfriend/husband/FB/whatever had a baby this week.  I know none of you care, but I just had to share the poor baby's name.  Ready?  Nakoa-Wolf Manakauapo Namakaeha Momoa.  No, I did not just mash my head against the keyboard.  That is its name.  Have fun on cursive-learning day in second grade, kid. (WWTDD)

Did you know that Woody Allen and Salma Hayek had a secret affair in 1980 and Salma birthed a baby girl out of wedlock?  You didn't?  Well that's because it didn't happen.  But damn if this girl doesn't make me think it did.  Nerd crush! (Egotastic)

This week, Carmen Electra was quoted saying that she often uses wire coat hangers as homemade sex toys.  Which makes sense, as her and her fiance's favorite role playing game is 'unplanned pregnant teen and sexy back alley abortionist.' (WWTDD)

Rumors leaked this week that Paula Abdul might be in talks with CBS about getting her own talk show.   I use the term 'talk' lightly.  It'll be more like her own half-talk, half-incoherently mumble insane drugged-out gibberish show. (WWTDD)

This week, the internet is a flurry with rumors of everyone's favorite lesbian pair, Lindsay Lohan and Sam Ronson, splitting up.  Uh oh, everybody.  Sounds like trouble in pair-of-dykes! pats self on back (IDLYITW)

Time Out NY magazine this week featured shirtless pictures of Brit and Germaine from Flight of the Conchords.  They look exactly as you would imagine, except with smaller heads. (DListed)

Guess who made it to 2009, everybody!?  Amy Winehouse!  We should send her a card or something.  But not right now, because she's busy being wigless, topless and all around still disgusting on vacation in St. Lucia.  Glad to see some things never change. (WWTDD)

This week in Glamour, Paris Hilton talks openly about sex, and claims that she's 'only done it with a couple of people.'  Nice try Paris, but you don't give vague numbers unless you're trying to hide a big number.  Remember when Ron Jeremy told ElleGirl he had 'only slept with a few here and there'?*  I rest my case. (Celebslam)

Jessica Alba's mom came for a visit this week and JESUS CHRIST THAT'S JESSICA ALBA'S MOM???  Her dad must be the most gorgeous man alive. (Celebslam)

This week, Britney's twitter was hacked to read "Hi Yall!  Brit Brit here, just wanted to update you all on the size of my vagina.  Its about 4 feet wide with razor sharp teeth."  Some people may have fallen for this, but I certainly didn't.  Everyone knows that y'all is spelled with an apostrophe.  Next time use spell check, hacker. (IDLYITW)

And last but not least, this week's Still Got It.  Let's just say the New Year is off to a great start.  We have Britney's downward-facing nipples, Donatella Versace (of Versace&Versace) rising from death to feed another day, and Brad Pitt looking, for the first time in real life, old.  But this week's award has to go to the trifecta of beach fatties that is Steve Martin, Richard Gere and Martin Short.  Apparently Club Med was having a sale?  Congratulations, boys.  You Still Got It! (Hollywood Tuna, IDLYITW, DListed, Celebslam)

*He didn't.