Welcome back to WWYK (I thought I'd give the acronym a try), this week is episode two and it is canoe-free. Let's see you make that claim, George Lucas.
Today is about a very dark moment of my life, my freshman year roommates at college. Now, this is not some bitch session about 'my roommate used my computer all the time,' or 'my roommate wore this smelly-ass cologne/perfume all the time,' or anything else your roommate(s) may do "all the time." This is documented, public record proof about some of the nightmarish scenarios that occur with randomly paired roommates at college. There are also horror stories regarding specifically chosen roommates, but that's for another episode [episode tres!]. This one is about nightmare roomies, and how sometimes the signs that seem 'too good to be true' are just good enough to be true.
Orientation Day my freshman year found me in a two room suite [not the same one from episode one] paired with two sophomores, Galen and B. B gets his name abbreviated because he was the mild one in comparison. Galen and B became friends the year before, and were a bit surprised to find that they had a freshman spoiling their sweet set-up.
This surprise reached its zenith when they tried to Machiavelli their way into getting me kicked out of the room. The full details of this story will be disclosed in another episode, but let's just say the dorm staff sided with me. Ultimately, I ended the year being the only one in the room. [Scoreboard!]
So here are the dossiers on the roommates:
B was diagnosed ADHD and taking some meds to keep his mood in check. Add on top of this that he was pursuing a TRIPLE MAJOR in Economics, Political Science, and Hebrew Studies. B was a walking, talking powder keg that could be set off by some of the most inane stuff. "Sorry, B, I didn't realize you hated Out Cold that much."
But as much of a headache as B could be, like I said, he was the mild one.
Galen Galen. I don't think a full paragraph is needed, just bullet points:
- Opera Student
- Sung show tunes all the time (really obsessed with RENT)
- Made jokes about Roman times a lot.
- Was named Galen (pronounced Gay-Lin)!
- Vocally conservative.
I thought to myself "There is no way that he's " I mean, come on, conservative! But then the week after spring break happened.
You see, after the power play against me collapsed, B decided to move out of the room over Christmas. Galen stayed a while longer, but eventually moved out of the dorm into an off-campus apartment two weeks before Spring Break. And before you think I was so horrible I chased two roommates away, just wait!
Monday morning, I have no morning classes, so I am catching some extra z's when my phone rings. It's my Dad. He doesn't say hello to me, he starts off with
"Don't answer any questions about Galen without checking with me first."
Now it is not uncommon for my dad to start a conversation like this, but it is the first time he's kicked it off talking about someone else. So I ask quite eloquently, "Huh?"
"Galen was arrested over the weekend. If any asks you to comment, don't."
Interest piqued, I asked for details. It turns out that Galen had been arrested, and eventually extradicted to New York. The charge? Sending kiddie porn and making advances on a minor. Yes, Virginia, sometimes freshman year roommates are as bad as they hilariuosly/stereotypically seem to be.
The details of the case are a matter of public record, so dig them up yourself if you want, but here is the quick play-by-play. Galen [allegedly] met Kid online. Kid's Mom stumbled upon conversation. Kid's Mom went to cops. Cops put an officer online, undercover, as the Kid. Galen [allegedly] sent kiddie porn to a cop. Galen got an all expense paid trip to New York. The [allegedly]s are there because I never bothered to see if he was convicted.
So remember, if you think your hippie roommate who practices his bongos all the time is bad, there are people with worse stories. I don't know if there are people with stories worse than mine, but I fear there are.
Until next week, this is Terrence Dellinger, writing what I know.