The stinging's how you know it's working.

Has anyone ever noticed that Buffalo Bill in "Silence of the Lambs" is basically just a really creepy Cruella DeVil?
-Andrew B.
If i bury my lava lamp in the back yard, is it then a magma lamp?
-Dan Art
I've always thought of farting as the air guitaring of taking a sh*t.
-Adam Newman
When we were hooking up, the girl said to me, "Tear your shirt off like the Hulk, and savage me," and I was like, "WoahÂ… Incredible or Hogan?"
-Thomas Barnes
You wouldn't believe the profits
My friend didn't think there was anything wrong with there being a gift shop in the Lincoln Memorial, so I installed gum ball machine in his grandmother's tombstone.
-Brandon Jackson
Discrimination
Why is it that if a girl hooks up with some random guy she's straight, but if a guy hooks up with some random guy he's gay?
-Adnan M
I was signing up for the Marine Corps the other day and they told me i would have to get my hair cut off. I told them it better be free because if it wasn't then that was a deal breaker.
-Tyler Reiriz