To all the readers in Miami, Los Angeles, and San Diego
To the Lost fans at Tulane, Florida State, and even Rice, or UT Austin
Listen guys, I love you, but you just don't appreciate Lost as much as the rest of us. Why?
I don't know if you've turned on the Weather Channel recently, but it's fucking COLD everywhere else. We're in our third month of freezing cold air, wind, snow, and slush. And while I love bundling up in my mittens and boots " let's be honest, I look adorable " it's getting to be a bit much.
But those of us who really care what Sawyer's next nickname will be, or how Locke will get instructions from Richard with all that pesky time shifting taking place, WE will do our duty without hesitation. We will put on our snow boots, and our long underwear, and our wool socks, and our big sweaters, and our winter coats, and our hats, and our mittens, and our scarves, and we will trek out into the elements and travel far and wide to a gathering place, welcomed by like-minded friends, to huddle around the warm and cozy glow of an HD television.
All to watch our favorite show
Here's what went down this week, in a hydrogen bomb:
In the "real world," Desmond goes to Oxford to find Daniel's mother. Instead, he learns that Daniel seriously fucked some chick up. She is now bedridden with dementia (or time traveling?). Also, Desmond looked hotter than he ever has (am I right, ladies?). Still in the past on the island, Miles, Charlotte, and Daniel are taken hostage by some Others, who think they're with the Army. The Others want Daniel to render a leaking hydrogen bomb inert. Meanwhile, Sawyer, Juliet and Locke have two Others in their custody. One of them is a young Charles Widmore(!), who accidentally leads our friends back to camp. Locke asks to speak to Richard, while Sawyer and Juliet save Daniel. Then they all flash to another time, and Charlotte seems like she's about the bite the dust.
Here's what we learn: