we've all been there
Why Your Drunken Hook Up Was Hot Last Night
1 Their whiskey breath overpowers the usual garlic and onion breath
2 Your asshole friends told you they were hot (obviously, you need new friends)
3 Her drunken slurs and everyday speech impediments have melted together making her speech understandable
4 The smell of liquor and beer masks their horrid body odor
5 The dim bar lights have toned down their butter colored teeth
6 She told you she had season tickets to the Yankees
7 The disheveled look is suddenly in when everyone is wasted
8 The bar has been serving $.50 drafts all night and you brought a roll of quarters
9 The shine in her hair that you thought was gel, you now realize is grease
10 The way she was grinding against the wall was a turn on but now you realize she was just itching her psoriasis
11 He said he was "pre-med"
12 You felt like a stud because for once, you didn't have to pay for it
13 You thought she said "I can make it clap!" when she really said "I have the clap"