10. He insists on calling the gay kid on your floor " The Dandy"

9. He stocks the floor's first aid kit with leeches.

8. He empties his chamber pot in the community showers each morning.

7. He's failed political geography and current events each semester.

6. His favorite story from his freshman year is how he "bedded a scullery maid and didn't send a courier to her residence thereafter!"

5. He offers " a sixpence to he who finds the bold knave who rubbed my new breeches in excrement."

4. All of his floor newsletters are written with quill and ink.

3. Anyone who breaks quiet hours is punished by tar and feathering.

2. He often plays the harpsichord in the common area of the dorm and is always asking " Did you see the opera last night?!"

1. The only way he settles arguments on the floor is by duel.