18 to party, 21 to party legally.

I overheard a guy say that he was knee-deep in pussy. I was really impressed; I didn't even realize you could go in foot first.
-Adam Newman
The road to Amish country is paved with good intentions.
-Steve H.
People complain that the only two constants in this world are death and taxes, but it's just not true. The kid I hit with my car never paid taxes.
-Steve H.
Fur is murder, especially when it's human fur.
-Cock Blockula
Whenever I buy Wendy's chili, I just pour it directly into the toilet. It's like time-traveling 20 minutes into the future.
-Cock Blockula
I want to catch a freight car and carry a bindle, no hobo.
-Josh Heller
The recession is so bad…
I had to stop shopping at the dollar store and switch to the Canadian dollar store.
-Ryan Adams
My high school chess club was actually pretty similar to fight club. We both had the same first rule and the members generally got beaten up a lot.
-Ryan Adams