Dear brand formerly known as Gatorade,¼/span>

I am going to be blunt I HATE your name change. I refuse to call Gatorade by its new name G under any circumstances. I do not like speaking in absolutes, but G is honestly the dumbest name I have ever heard. If my children grow up calling Gatorade G, (e.g. Dad may I please drink a bottle of G ) I am going to disown them, and do so without regret. G is a letter not a name. Gatorade was/is/always will be a great beverage name. It is so great that it is actually in the Oxford English Dictionary. Just compare the two names to see how much worse G is than Gatorade.¼/span>
Gatorade is comprised of the word gator and the suffix ade. Gator refers to alligator, a ferocious beast that kills and eats prey without mercy. -Ade is a suffix used to denote a delicious drink, as in lemonade or orangeade. Meanwhile, G is the seventh letter of the alphabet, which means absolutely nothing. Now I have a question: Would you rather drink a ferocious, beastly and delicious beverage, or drink the seventh letter of the alphabet? Furthermore, your name changes for Gatorade AM, Gatorade X-Factor, Gatorade Rain, Gatorade Fierce, and Gatorade Tiger suck as well. Shine On, Be Tough, No Excuses, Bring It, and Focus are unbelievably terrible names. These new names sound like chapters from a self-help book. You are selling beverages for chrissake! And the way the names are written on the bottle is¼/span>
I love Gatorade it is one of my favorite drinks. I won t stop drinking it, but I will not refer to it as G or any of the other new names. I am cool with the G symbol being a logo change, but not a name change. Please just make everyone happy and go back to the old, better names.¼/span>

(P.S. I signed the letter J to show you just how terrible and stupid a one-letter name actually is. Now I am going to be a real man and sign the letter using my actual name.)¼/span>

Jerome Drew