The totally [expletive] awesome unrated edition.

World War Two could have been called World War Too.
-Tim MacKenzie
Tongue Twister
How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if someone gave a f*ck to measure.
-Brian Foster
If somebody offers you a lifetime supply of candy and there is just one piece, don't eat it: It's probably poison.
-Timmy Dale
Bad Day
I walked in on my dad having sex with my mom earlier today. It was so gross, especially since my mom's been dead for two years.
-J Linback
If you want your relationship to last, it's all about listening. I had no idea that was the case until I met what's her name.
-John Loftin
long island
"I laughed so hard muscle milk came out my nose"!
-Mark F
Women
Women dye their hair, put makeup on, get a liposuction, get a boobjob and then they complain there is no real men out there…
-Wojtek Bryniak
I was rapped by a werewolf…and now every time there's a full moon I throw up.
-Danny Kitson
If abortion is murder, then blowjobs are cannibalism and masturbation is mass genocide.
-Tom Fulp