Once upon a time there was this dude. He went to college. Not that shitty community college, either. Not even some shit like those colleges that spam commercials everywhere on television. He went to a real-ass fucking university. He was a regular freshman. Shit. His life was pretty fucking normal. Did the regular amount of classes, got a 2.5 GPA, and partied on weekends. What the fuck was wrong with him? Nothing. Seriously, there is nothing was that wrong with him.