Reading can be fun. Oh wait, that's water slides.
I don't know which fate is worse: No longer being able to wear those millennium New Years novelty glasses after 2010, or having eyes so deformed you can.
BlissIf ignorance is bliss, why does the KKK always seem so angry?
I feel like Cesar Millan is just a very specific version of The Beastmaster.
It's ironic that I make instant oatmeal but then don't do crap for an hour.
Koala bearsDo you know what koala bears do when the forest burns? They burn, too.
I just got my first tattoo and it really hurt. I think next time I'll use colder water to put it on.
True LoveMy girlfriend said she couldn't live without me, which didn't make me feel that great. I think she would have said that to any guy performing CPR.
I wrote a gospel hymn the other day. It was just the Charles in Charge theme song with "God" substituted for "Charles."