It's only been 3 days since your last confession and there's been a lot of good, solid sinning going on across the country. Check out the top 5 and don't forget to submit your misdeeds to here for next Monday's article.

Travis, remember Freshman year when you decided that you wanted to try out for the wrestling team but you needed to lose 15 pounds? You thought it was cool to work out and make protein smoothies at ridiculous hours of the night to lose the weight. Well, it was me who changed the settings on the scale in your bathroom to make you seem lighter, so you would actually let me sleep. Sorry bro, but you suck at wrestling anyways.
Jered Vest, University of Iowa



So my roommate borrowed about 100 bucks from me to buy his girlfriend a Valentine's Day present, claiming that his paycheck was in the mail and would arrive a few days after Valentine's Day and that he would pay me as soon as it came in. About a month and a few hundred random excuses later, I still don't have my money even though I know for a fact he works every weekend and has more than enough to pay me. So the day he was going drive home 4 hours to visit his parents I took one of his nasty dip bottles he leaves lying around and poured it into one of the sodas he bought for the drive. About an hour in he got thirsty took a sip, and threw up all over his car. He had to spend the next three hours driving home in a car that smelled of puke, with the windows up because it's freezing in upstate New York.
Lucas Pollack, Ithaca

I'm sorry you had 3 X-Box's break last semester. However, I'm not sorry I figured out how to unhook the cooling fan and burn up the console. I hate Halo.
E Brown, MS State

All during my senior year of school I would sneak in my friends' houses off campus during the weekends, and while they were passed out or at a chick's house, I would do random things to their places. I'd shut off their hot water, disconnect their toilets, put a roll of toilet paper in the bowl and drop one, shut off their fridges, take raw food (preferably chicken or fish) and hide it around their apartments, turn their heat off, or on, depending on the season, reset their alarm clocks, shake the beer in their fridge, fill alcohol bottles with water. Nothing ever serious. I was never caught doing anything the entire year and no on ever suspected me. Maybe the fact that I was an RA for three years and was President of the Student Body made people think I would never do something like that.
M.K., School Not Given

I got so sick and tired of hearing all of your girl problems when really the only girl problem you have is that you sleep around a lot and can't keep all your lies straight. I wanted so badly for a girl to come into your life and sweep you off your feet – you would fall in love and then, boom goes the dynamite! She plays you and you look like and idiot and feel even worse. Unfortunately, somehow girl after helpless girl fell for your overused game. So I took it upon myself. I created the perfect girl, on Facebook that is. But I knew you would spot a fake so I made her up 6 months ago, have befriended people (mostly who I don't know), wrote on walls, posted pictures (I found on MySpace), joined clubs, etc. Then after she became real enough I befriended you and the conversation started. Since you are my roommate I know all I need to know to make you fall in love with her. She always knows exactly what to say. After all you two have so much in common. You eventually told me about this amazing girl you met on the internet and how you couldn't believe how perfect she is. In addition you asked for my oh so valuable advice regarding where you should take her on a date because you finally asked her out and she said yes. Man are you nervous and to think I'm writing this and you are sitting at the most expensive restaurant in Milwaukee waiting for her. Unfortunately, she isn't going to show up because she will later confess to you that in fact she and I have been talking and have decided to go on a date. Man, that's got to hurt!
Tyler Curran, UW-Milwaukee



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