Every once in a while, the Gods above part the clouds, take a good look at you, and decide that your life is going just a little too well.  The end result for you care-free lifestyle and reckless behavior.  Today:  Bruised Jugular!

What it means:  You are the drunk asshole everyone talks about hating with such a deep passion.  You're belligerent, annoying and you probably smell as well.  Someone gave you a peice of their mind, that you most likely deserved.

How you got it:  Six or seven beer bongs are enough to make anyone college student feel a little buzzed, however, you decided to bong Long Island Iced teas then head out to your favorite watering hole where you discovered that the bouncer's forearm is, indeed, the size of your neck.

Why you got it:  During a long night of your friends denying any personal tie you, you preceeded to smack nearly every female ass in the bar (including the owner), projectile vomit across a pool table, and sweet talk the bouncer's girlfriend right infront of him.

What you've learned:  If your trying to impress a hot peice of tail with the amount of alcohol you can drink, don't.  She isn't impressed, she's just waiting for you to buy her a drink.  Why else would she be talking to you?

Your Prize:  swollen throat, ultra strength Tylenol from the health center, liquid meals for 3 days, and 'banishment' for a month from said bar.

Congrats Champ!