Facebook recently revealed its "new look" (which is much different than the last "new look") in yet another attempt to reinvent itself. Like all things that are constantly reinventing themselves, the new Facebook layout is scary and confusing, which is why I have created this guide to help you understand and welcome some of the changes.
In a bold move to redefine the term "news feed", Facebook has taken all the news out. You will notice that your new home page is now strictly reserved for status updates! Even more exciting, the news feed is now streaming in real-time! To take advantage of this real-time stream, just repeatedly hit the "refresh" button on your browser. It's so simple! Still want to see pictures, groups, events, and notes on your news feed? Tough shit.
The filter is an utterly nonsensical feature on the left side of the new homepage that allows you to decide which network you want to receive updates from. Finally a way to forget all those friends from when you studied abroad last semester without feeling guilty!
Remember how nice it was when you could change your newsfeed options to determine how much and what kind of content you wanted to see on your homepage? Well Facebook has finally removed the hassle of choice with the new "Highlights" option! You'll find this feature on the right side of your homepage, completely surrounded by advertisements. Want to browse your roommate's spring break photos? Sure! Just as soon as you donate some sperm.
Miss out on all those parties this weekend because you never got the invites? Well chances are you probably did and just couldn't find them. Turns out, one of Facebook's favorite things to do is make your notifications unreasonably difficult to locate. Remember how long it took you to figure out that they got bumped to the bottom right corner of the homepage when they changed the layout last time? They've pretty much gone and done the same thing with friend requests, invites, etc. If you've been looking for them, they're in tiny letters at the top of your screen right next to a friendly welcome. Because what better way to notify someone of important upcoming events than making those notifications impossible to find?
Facebook taking the "social" out of "social networking" since 2004.