So yesterday was the internet's 20th, as cited in the The Sun. And it dawned on me, how much the internet has done in such a short amount of time! I mean, we're practically the same age & I've done nothing but finish up grade school and become an internet whore.

Had I done as much as the internet, then I'd be as smart as a dictionary, be the most popular person in the world, and have a screen for a head.

Sadly, this is not so.

ANYWAY, en leiu of the 20th of AMERICA'S NEW PASTIME (there, I said it) I thought I'd list its TOP 10 ACCOMPLISHMENTS; though, I would have gone to 20 had I been able to think of that many…

1. AIM = helping dumb kids flirt
2. eHarmony = helping dumb adults flirt
3. Facebook = equality between the dumb kids and the cool kids
4. Myspace = the reliable networking tool to fall back on when facebook makes you mad

5. YouTube = the Today Show of cyberspace; giving 10 seconds of air-time fame to anybody.

6. Email = getting rid of the correspondence via pen/paper monopoly
7. Blogging = keeping would be terrorists at home on
8. Google = Jesus of cyberspace
9. = making ugly people, EXTRAORDINARY.
10. = giving life a purpose

Thank you, Internet. It's been a great 20 & if Microsoft can ever get the spam/viruses in order—it will be another great 20.

By: Kay Greenfield