It's been an entire week since your last confession and there's been a lot of good, solid sinning going on across the country. Check out the top 5 and don't forget to submit your misdeeds to our submission page.

Remember how you always leave your nasty hair in the shower drain and your skanky underwear on the floor of the bathroom and I always asked you to throw out the hair and put the underwear somewhere else? I thought to teach you a lesson and kill 2 birds with one stone so I would put your hair into your underwear every time I found it in the shower. Being too embarrassed to say anything to me I overheard you talking to your mom about going to a specialist and how scared you where that you had some crazy disease or something. Get a haircut, stop being lazy.
Dave Steel, School Not Given



Hey man, remember our last semester together? Remember when you kept getting those weird rashes and not even the doctor knew what they were from? Well, for the last weeks of the semester, while you were at work or class, I would pick the dead skin off of my athletes foot and sprinkle it in your bed before you got back. Maybe now you can STFU every once and a while and stop hitting on my girlfriend.
B.J., School Not Given

Hey Matt, you know how you live the most disgusting lifestyle known to man and how leaving your spit cups, cigarettes, and condom wrappers is your way of paying rent? Well, me and your four roommates can only tolerate so much. And when you played my X-box 360 every night after I went to sleep and it magically broke last year, you courageously decided to avoid buying me a new one and bought yourself one this year. Well I hope you know I have been spraying your cigarettes with Lysol daily, kicking your X-box daily before I go to class in hopes that it magically breaks, and have even put shit in your chew tins. Can't wait to room with you next semester!
Chris C, Elmhurst College

My sophomore year my friend had this ugly girlfriend who was a huge bitch, always eating my food and cock blocking me at every party. I was finally fed up with it and decided to take action. Every time she would come over I would go into the bathroom and hide all of the toilet paper. I would fill the holder with an empty role I kept for this very reason. She would get pissed every time and after about 2 weeks she stopped coming over and my roommate started chilling over at her place. So now I've got the whole place to myself. Check mate bitch.
Ron Hall, Univ Of Cincinnati

All those times I offered you some of the food I just made, it was the most unhealthy and fattening thing I could make, which I never actually ate. I invited you out so you would get drunk and embarrass yourself (all my 'vodka' drinks were water). I convinced you to eat fast food every time you were drunk because 'you'd feel better in the morning if you ate something'. All the times you passed out, I would randomly turn off or reset your alarm so you'd miss class the next day. When you drunkenly hooked up with random guys, I told everyone. Sometimes I took pictures of the creeps you were making out with in public just to remind you of it down the road. Eventually you put on about twice the 'freshman fifteen', became too tired to work out or do homework because you were recovering from the night before, and failed many exams because of missing class and not doing assignments. Remember senior year of high school when you told everyone I was a slut because I made out with your boyfriend (which happened when we were 15, hold a grudge much)? Or when you told everyone that I wasn't going to graduate because I missed too much school, which you then said was because I got pregnant and had to leave town to get an abortion, even though you knew it was because I had my appendix out and got really sick after the surgery so I was in the hospital for 3 weeks (and you were pissed when I graduated, with honors. Remember how all you used to say about college was 'it's a great opportunity to reinvent yourself'?Consider yourself reinvented as an overweight slut who won't graduate. You're welcome.
Ashley Snow, Arizona State University



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