Read the following personality profiles to see which test best suits you: 

MCAT
: You love long term relationships and consider four years just the beginning of something. Human contact is so infrequent that going to a party causes an asthma attack. You live at home.  Libraries are your Mecca. Emotional intelligence is that of a robot, yet you have the capacity to feel contempt.


GMAT:
  Networking, ultimate frisbee, Japanese food, money,  getting up early, committee meetings, complaining about group work, entrepreneurial conferences, these are a few of your favorite things, but mainly money. You consider a 60 hour work week in exchange for free sandwiches a fair trade. You think golf is a sport. 


LSAT:
  You spend a lot of money on clothes, and have an abundance of corduroy and beige. You love "The Firm" and "The Rainmaker", because Damon and Cruise are worthy man crushes and John Grisham is the shit. Every time you meet someone, you implicitly add "& Associates" to their last name. You love spending time with criminals (See: lawyers).


GRE:
This McDisneybucks capitalist culture is so corrupt that you want to stay in academia where people speak truth to power. Dissertations don't exactly pay bills, so you plan to get a part time job working somewhere with high school kids and struggling actors.  You reconcile that spending 4 hrs a day with a dying professor is a bit of a buzz kill, but you hope to meet other grad students of the opposite sex. Spoiler Alert: You Won't         


CFA (Chartered Financial Analyst):
  This test is not recommended.  Do what you will, but what you will do is write the first one and avoid the next two. However, writing the first one can lead to heroin addiction, socialism, euthanizing people with common colds and legalizing marriage to animals. You will become as hermetic as the MCAT test takers since both require competing against one syllable last name workaholics. If only your last name was Wu or Chang instead of Not Chinese.


CA (Chartered Accountant) :
 You are well kept, organized and enjoy premium brews. A chair has more personality than you.   Failure is never an option, except when it comes to marriages.


Cosmopolitan Body Type Quiz
:  You think reading relationship propaganda will make you attractive. You enjoy the use of fruit euphemisms as a reminder you are inanimate yet edible.  Hint: You are an obese squash.


A Facebook Personality Comparison Test
: You can't remember the last time you got laid.