Adam Ruins Everything
Jake and Amir
Aragorn Goes to My High School
April 2, 2009
: So who can tell me when the war of 1812 ended?
: Um, was it 1-
: I do not know what strength is in my blood, but I swear to you I will not let the White City fall, nor our people fail.
: I was gonna say-
: Let Aragorn finish.
: But he obviously doesn't know the answer
: Be at peace, Son of Gondor.
: Aragorn you get to be Valedictorian!
: Hey, Jessica Um. Hi. I was wondering if. Do you wanna go to the prom with-
: Lady Jessica. When we first met, I thought I had wandered into a dream.
: Oh Aragorn.
: Bind yourself to me, forsaking the immortal life of your people. And let me escort you to the Junior Prom.
: I'm going to french you on the tongue.
: What did he say about binding?
: Okay guys. We're uh. We're down 15 but come on! We have the whole second half my dudes! Let's um. Let's play defense. Rebound. We're gonna-
: Hold your ground, hold your ground! Sons of Gondor, of Rohan, my brothers! I see in your eyes the same fear that would take the heart of me.
: A day may come when the courage of men fails, when we forsake our friends and break all bonds of fellowship, but it is not this day.
Aragorn brandishes a sword. Everyone erupts in cheers.
: Whoa. You are not allowed to have that in school.
Horn blows. Everyone runs out of the locker room.
: Man, Trevor, this bus takes forever to come. Am I right or what?
: I dunno. Shut up.
Aragorn arrives on horseback.
: The Uruk-Hai's pace has quickened. They must have caught our scent. Hurry!
Trevor jumps on.
: Tre? What are you doing?
: I do not fear death.
lord of the rings
We like you. Do you like us too?
Don't ask me again.