Remember back in the 90s, when the Happy Meal toys were still awesome? There were separate toys for the girls and for the boys, and getting a new Matchbox car or Disney princess with an order of McNuggets was the highlight of a day for a kid. But not for the toys. Not for the toys.
Matchbox: Maybe it won't be a Happy Meal this time.
Sleeping Beauty: You always say that. And it always is a Happy Meal. Not even the new PlayPlace has stopped the children. I don't think that anything can.
Matchbox: I'm just trying to keep up the optimism here.
Sleeping Beauty: So was Frank. And we both know what happened to Frank.
Matchbox: God rest his soul.
Sleeping Beauty: I'm just trying to be realistic here. If Frank could be lost, any of us could be next.
Matchbox: Would you keep your voice down? If the other princesses hear you, the entire bin will know before the Lunch Menu goes up.
Sleeping Beauty: It's only fair. We should all be ready for the inevitable.
Matchbox: Oh, go back to sleep. I'm sorry. I didn't mean that. I'm just a little tense right now.
Sleeping Beauty: We all are. You and I just need to stick together through this.
Matchbox: You're right. You know what? I'll sift to the bottom if you will.
Sleeping Beauty: Are you kidding me? That new kid reaches all the way down to the bottom! And I hear that there are still some feral lions left over from last month's Lion King feature. It's not worth the risk to go below.
Matchbox: So the rumors are true. I thought that that old Beauty's scars were just manufacturing defects.
Sleeping Beauty: If only it were so. She'll be okay, though, now that she's gone for a while. They pulled her out at closing time last night.
Matchbox: At least she's safe now.
Sleeping Beauty: Yeah. I'm sure she'll be back soon.
Matchbox: Oh, crap. Did you hear that order? I think it was for a Happy Meal!
Sleeping Beauty: Oh, God. Boy or Girl? BOY OR GIRL?
Matchbox: I didn't hear!
Sleeping Beauty: We're too close to the top! I can see the lights from Above this is the end for one of us, my friend.
Matchbox: Sleepers, it has been an honor awaiting doom with you.
Sleeping Beauty: And you, sir. And you.
Zazu: Thank God. I've been trying to reach the top for weeks. It has been lion vs. hyena anarchy down there. It was no place for a toucan.
Sleeping Beauty: Toucan? I thought you were a hornbill.
Zazu: My tag isn't clear about that.
Matchbox: What the hell? You wanted to reach the top?
Zazu: There were whispers below of safety on the surface. Stories that some of the lucky ones were being pulled to freedom from the confines of this toy bin.
Sleeping Beauty: Seriously?
Zazu: Please. I have been at the bottom of this hellhole for too long. May I cut past you to the top of the queue? I can see an angel approaching now to take one of us. Let me be the first to go.
Matchbox: Are you a Boy toy or a Girl toy?
Zazu: I'm Gender Neutral.
Matchbox: Sure, go for it.
Sleeping Beauty: Have fun.