Remember back in the 90s, when the Happy Meal toys were still awesome?  There were separate toys for the girls and for the boys, and getting a new Matchbox car or Disney princess with an order of McNuggets was the highlight of a day for a kid.  But not for the toys.  Not for the toys.

Matchbox:  Maybe it won't be a Happy Meal this time.
 

Sleeping Beauty:  You always say that.  And it always is a Happy Meal.  Not even the new PlayPlace has stopped the children.  I don't think that anything can.

Matchbox:  I'm just trying to keep up the optimism here.

Sleeping Beauty:  So was Frank.  And we both know what happened to Frank.

Matchbox:  God rest his soul.

Sleeping Beauty: I'm just trying to be realistic here. If Frank could be lost, any of us could be next.

Matchbox:  Would you keep your voice down?  If the other princesses hear you, the entire bin will know before the Lunch Menu goes up.

Sleeping Beauty:  It's only fair.  We should all be ready for the inevitable.

Matchbox:  Oh, go back to sleep.  I'm sorry.  I didn't mean that.  I'm just a little tense right now.

Sleeping Beauty:  We all are.  You and I just need to stick together through this.

Matchbox:  You're right. You know what? I'll sift to the bottom if you will.

Sleeping Beauty:  Are you kidding me?  That new kid reaches all the way down to the bottom!  And I hear that there are still some feral lions left over from last month's Lion King feature.  It's not worth the risk to go below.

Matchbox:  So the rumors are true.  I thought that that old Beauty's scars were just manufacturing defects.

Sleeping Beauty:  If only it were so.  She'll be okay, though, now that she's gone for a while.  They pulled her out at closing time last night.

Matchbox:  At least she's safe now.

Sleeping Beauty:  Yeah.  I'm sure she'll be back soon.

Matchbox:  Oh, crap.  Did you hear that order?  I think it was for a Happy Meal!

Sleeping Beauty:  Oh, God.  Boy or Girl?  BOY OR GIRL?

Matchbox:  I didn't hear!  

Sleeping Beauty:  We're too close to the top!  I can see the lights from Above…this is the end for one of us, my friend.

Matchbox:  Sleepers, it has been an honor awaiting doom with you.

Sleeping Beauty:  And you, sir.  And you.

Zazu:  Thank God.  I've been trying to reach the top for weeks.  It has been lion vs. hyena anarchy down there.  It was no place for a toucan.


Sleeping Beauty:  Toucan?  I thought you were a hornbill.

Zazu:  My tag isn't clear about that.

Matchbox:  What the hell?  You wanted to reach the top?

Zazu:  There were whispers below of safety on the surface.  Stories that some of the lucky ones were being pulled to freedom from the confines of this toy bin.

Sleeping Beauty:  Seriously?

Zazu:  Please.  I have been at the bottom of this hellhole for too long.  May I cut past you to the top of the queue?  I can see an angel approaching now to take one of us.  Let me be the first to go.

Matchbox:  Are you a Boy toy or a Girl toy?

Zazu:  I'm Gender Neutral.

Matchbox:  Sure, go for it.  

Sleeping Beauty:  Have fun.