The Brain: (pompously) Thank you all for attending the Annual Awards and Recognition Night. While I recognize that all of you have contributed in all your little ways, you must recall that it is through my guidance and exceptional leadership that has brought us to where we are today.
Without further ado I shall begin handing out the awards.
To The Heart: It is my greatest pleasure to award you the hardest worker award. Thank you for your non-stop dedication and effort. I would hope you would continue working for another seventy years or so, though I would request that you give enough notice when you decide to take a break.
To The Lungs: Once again, you have earned the most prudent award. Thank you for constanly filtering out the trash that comes in everyday. Even though it is a dirty job, I can entrust it to nobody else but you.
To The Hands: The two of you have worked hard this year. However, one has worked harder than the other, as it should be. I ask that both of you to keep up the good work, whether you are above the table or under it.
To The Feet: The undervalued worker award goes to you. While you are constantly below notice, I fully expect you to hit your stride soon enough.
To The Penis: It is my honour to award you the most enthusiastic worker award. I would ask though, that you would curb your enthusiasm under most circumstances. However, I would implore that you rise up to the occasion when needed.
To The Appendix: (sternly) Another year has gone by and you have done nothing. While I expect you nothing less than idleness from you, please remember that you are kept here for sentimental reasons. You shall receive the first cut should you become a real pain to keep.
The Brain: With that, the Awards Ceremony shall draw to a close. A sidenote, all those who need to keep working overtime, please do so, especially my personal aides. Farewell.
(End of Awards Ceremony)
Personal aides The Mouth, The Nose and The Eyes are in conversation.
The Mouth: Every year, Brain never fails to get on my nerves. Is he like totally mindf**king with us?
The Nose: I would say he is a superegoist. He just reeks of a gasbag through and through.
The Eyes: Yeah, he thinks he is so exceptional, but what he actually stores in his memory bank is porn anyway.