First, make sure to take a seat in the back row. I know it might be tempting to sit right upin the front, but those guys won't appreciate your efforts. They think that just because they read thebook and take notes that they're better than you. Idiots. Not the back row though " they've spent everymoment of every class wondering if they could paper cut themselves to deathwith their empty sheets of notes. Whatthey crave is someone to sit right next to them and talk way louder than anyperson should ever bother doing.
For bonus points, try and sitnext to someone who plans on sleeping off their hangover during class. They really love this sort of thing.
Second, get those shoulder muscles ready because itsarm-raising time. Now don't botherraising your hand to ask actual questions. You're better than that. That's for the noobs who don't understand what'sgoing on. You're going to be the guythat interrupts class every two minutes to ask statements. Just to prove that you're better thaneveryone. Sample dialogue of your awesomenessin action:
Professor: During the firstyears of WWI, America actually made many treaties with Germany in order tomaintain their isolatio yes?
StatementMan: So what you're saying is that the US wanted to remainisolated from Europe in WWI?
Professor: That's what I just said, yes.
Look smugly at the two people next to you. Ignore their disgusted glares, they're justjealous.
Third, make sure to step up the frequency of this asthe class keeps going. Don't let anyonethink that you've running out of steam. If necessary, just ask statements that are only slightly relevant to thesubject matter. More dialogue of your(if it's even possible) increasing awesomeness:
Professor: Jane Eyre istypically viewed as a struggle of love versus autonomy and
StatemnetMan: So what you're saying is that women today have tochoose between marriage and keeping their independence?
Professor: Um, well, not exactly
Just cross your arms and start nodding. You so showed her up.
You might notice that after one or two or thirty-seven "questions",the teacher starts pretending that they can't see you. Don't let that keep you down. Just interrupt, especially if he's justblabbering about something unimportant like what questions will be on tomorrow'stest. Boooring. At this point youmight have to raise your voice to a yell.
Finally,and most importantly, you can't let class get out without making sure everyoneunderstood that you're a genius. Surethe professor already dismissed everyone, but don't a thing like that stopyou. Other students will reallyappreciate that you're willing to go the extra mile " to squeeze an extra fiveminutes out of an already miserable class. Dialogue of how you really couldn't be any more awesome:
Professor: Just make sureand finish up chapter six for tomorrow and we can actually wrap things up earlytoday. Enjoy your weekend everyone and
StatementMan: (you might haveto really belt this out to be heard over the unrelated groaning) I justwanted to clarify that both chapter five and chapter six will be on the finalin a few months?
Professor: Probably, but since its only March, I haven't reallymade up the exam yet.
StatementMan: SO WHAT YOU'RESAYING IS THAT WE SHOULD READ CHAPTER SIX FOR TOMORROW?
Make sure and keep this dialogue up until people start "accidentally"knocking their backpacks into you on the way out the door. Or even better, directlyshoving you to the floor. This is a signthat you have truly impressed them.
Because hey, you're the guy that spends all class taking averbal quiz that nobody is giving out. You're the guy that risked dislocating his shoulder and losing his voicein order to make things take a lot a bit longer. You're the guy that kept the class togetherfor a few extra minutes. On aFriday. Before Spring Break.
So here's to you StatementMan! Where would we be without you?