God: Joey my boy! How are things?

Joseph: Oh, hey God! Things are pretty sol-

God: Please, Joseph, I'm God. I already know all about that, and I'll have it cleared up by Thursday as long as Buddha doesn't try to "help" again. Anyway, I need a quick favor from you. You know that Mary chick you've been hanging out with?

Joseph: Yeah, what about her?

God: I need her to have a kid.

Joseph: A kid? Really? I mean, that's a pretty big decision, but if it's what you want…

God: Cool. Also, she has to stay a virgin.

Joseph: What?! But that's the best part about having a kid! Besides, how else are we supposed to have one, mitosis?

God: Ok, first of all, mitosis doesn't exist. It's a myth, like evolution and science. Second, don't worry about it. I already had the kid put inside of her.

Joseph: Wait, so she's having your baby?

God: Pretty much, yeah. I just need you to raise it for me. You know, change his diapers, feed him, make sure one of his apostles doesn't betray him, the usual.

Joseph: That seems pretty unfair…

God: Unfair? You're going to be the dad of the Son of God, sort of! Your name will go down in religious history for this!

Joseph: What's history?

God: Don't worry about it. Basically, it means you'll be famous.

Joseph: Really? That sounds pretty cool!

God: Sure it does! I mean, you won't be as well-known as your son or me or Mary or Peter or Paul or Joseph from the Old Testament or any of the really important people, but a few nuns should at least remember your name.

Joseph: So basically, you want me to not have sex with my wife and spend the rest of my life raising your son all for the sake of being remembered even less well than that kid with the stupid coat?

God: Exactly.

Joseph: That's a pretty big favor.

God: What? Oh no, that's not the favor, it's just something I thought you should know. What I was really wondering was if I could borrow some sprinkles. It's Allah's birthday tomorrow, so we're making him a cake.

Joseph: …that's it, I'm going back to Scientology.

Tom Cruise: Ha! I told you couldn't stay away forever!