Dear Mr.Peever,

Thank you very much for your letters. It's good to know that despite all the negative attention we've been receiving in the media, that we are still able to garner some support. However, at this time, we feel that it would be best if we not heed the advice you've been so graciously offering and continue doing things our own way.

While we do agree that it would look "totally badass" if we were to don the more flamboyant look of pirates from the 18 century, the heavy wool jackets and puffy blouses are hard to come by in this part of the world. Also, I don't know if you've ever sailed along the coast of Somalia (I don't recommend it, LOL), but it is extremely hot here. My men would surely succumb to heatstroke and other wearing-a-wool-coat-with-thick-pants-and-leather-boots-under-a-relentlessly-hot-sun-related medical conditions. It just doesn't seem like a practical choice.

Furthermore, I don't think that it would be in our best interest to change the way we board the ships we intend to rob.  I agree that holding a sword in my mouth and swinging across on a rope would certainly score some intimidation points, but what that method fails to take into account is that we have nothing with which to carry our booty. So we'll continue commuting between ships in a rubber dinghy for now. ("Booty", however is a much better word than "stuff we stole" and I have ordered my entire crew to start using it. So thank you for that, at least.)

Finally, I thank you very much for the enclosed saw blade and a map of all major arteries in the human leg, but from what I've been taught about pirates, the peg-leg is less of a cosmetic procedure and more something born out of necessity. If the opportunity presents itself to me then, yes of course, I'll sport the wooden leg.  But until then, I'll just keep it above my fireplace with the dead parrot you sent me. Maybe next time you should include some air holes.

Thanks again for your suggestions, as we welcome all types of feedback from our fans. And I promise to let you know if anyone on board ever says "Arrgh!"

 

Sincerely,

Captain Abduhl Wali-i-Musi
Pirate