Captain: How is it going sailor?

Sailor: Oh it's going Captain…it's very blue. Nothing has changed literally in six days only I think we are now somewhere near Greenland. I can't be too sure though because this damn radar we use as a GPS is from fucking Vietnam!

Captain: Good sailor, good. Though don't curse in front of the ocean. You don't want her to get angry. There is nothing worse than a salty sea. (Letting out a hearty chuckle)

Sailor: I think I'll take my chances sir. Honestly I think I have a better chance of turning into a pelican then upsetting this fucking blue abyss!

Captain: Watch your mouth sailor! There is scum out in these seas and it is our job to protect it!

Sailor: Sir, this isn't World War II no one uses submarines anymore. I still don't know why the fuck I am in one! The only thing that can possibly do any harm to us a god damn coral reef but still I like our chances.

Captain: You never know son, you never know when you are going to have to unleash a mighty torpedo!

Sailor: Is that what this stupid blinking red button is for?

Captain: Why no sailor that is the self destruct button used so sailors could die at the hands of their own instead of the enemy. Those green buttons are for the torpedoes but they haven't been used in years. But you never know when the time will come! 

Sailor: Of course not, fuck me right?  Sir, how long have you been on this submarine again?

Captain: 47 years sailor, 47 glorious years!

Sailor: Ya that's what I thought. And Captain, do you know what 4 × 6 is?

Captain: 32! Almost as many years as I have been on this beautiful vessel.

Sailor: Yep ok…so Captain how much longer until we make the return journey home?

Captain: 16 months sailor. 16 wonderful…