1. Beat-boxing

People have to sit in awkward silence to enjoy listening to you do it. What's more: have you ever made eye contact with someone who's beatboxing? No. Because the serious and focused expression in their eyes is just too hard to look at, and obviously I'm not enjoying it, so faking amusmentis like lying right to your contorted face.

The question remains: is it less cool to show up with a controlled and rehearsed composition or to really go for it and throw in people's names and stuff? Either way, you're really good at beatboxing, and the better you are at it, the less cool it is.

2. Poker

The buy-in is $5, and I was invited here under the pretense that I didn't have to be any good. I was told we were just going to get stoned and share a 30 pack. Once I saw your diamond-plated carrying case I knew we had a problem. Oh, and tell the asshole next to me that if he knocks on the table one more time I'm going to pull out my six-shooter. Just say you don't want any cards and you don't want to raise the bet. You are NOT the poker pro you never heard of until you saw Rounders.

3. Re-living movie lines

Close enough is close enough. There's always a movie encyclopedia in the room who has to re-quote all the mis-quotes. It's bad enough that the only things in our life which are fun to recant happened to Ricky Bobby, but he's not here and neither are the police, so we don't have to get our facts straight. Isn't it good enough just to say we are the knights who say "nee" without actually saying it 250 times? It's obvious that you just like the sound of your own Chris Farley impression, the only person who is more of a criminal in this scenario is the kid encouraging you (fucking Judas).

This one goes hand in hand with singing along to popular songs: The harder you try to sound like the artist, and the better you remember the words, the less fun you just made it for everybody else, way to go.

Just remember, by taking any group activity too seriously, you can completely ruin it for others.