Disclaimer: I AM NOT A MEDICAL PROFESSIONAL. This is simply meant to be friendly advice. Nothing here is verified by anyone of authority in the realm of medicine, or the swine flu.

  • Stay way from swine (aka pigs and their piglets).
  • If you know someone who has the swine flu, or if you live in California or Texas, I suggest you move far away and preferrably North.
  • You can eat pork. The flu is not transmitted by eating pigs.

If you think you may have the swine flu, call a medical professional and ask for help. Chances are that you are paranoid and delusional.

Signs you may have it are sudden onset of the following:

  • Fever
  • Aches
  • Pains
  • Extreme fatigue

…you should be more concerned though, if these symptoms are cropping up:

  • Diarrhea
  • Vomiting

But as I see it, there's a 1 in 7,817,402.86 chance that you'll catch it. Good luck!

Photo by Marianne Perdomo