We all know Lil Wayne is the realest player in the game. In fact, he just may be too real, according to some people. But, how does one get to be this real? Obviously, the first answer to come to mind is drugs. Lots and lots of drugs. As you get toasted out of your mind, the more real you'll become; just look at Lil Wayne. That guy is in a perpetual state of "gone," and everyone knows what's up when he's around (for all you non-real people, it's him).
There are, however, various pros and cons to being real. Obviously, sex, fame, and glamour are all definite pros, but what about some of the lesser-known cons, such as a growing dependency on cocaine-laced kool-aid? Here's a list for what's in store foryou, should you decide that realness is for you.
-First and foremost, no one can question your existence and tangibility.
- You can literally smoke whatever you want, whenever you want. This includes Pixie Stix, and to a lesser extent, Smarties.
- You can slap anyone you want, wherever you want, whenever you want. Yes, anyone. That one girl who made fun of you in high school? Slapped. That hot chick in the front row of bio? Slapped. All those bitches and ho's? Totally Slapped.
- You can carry a pistol without a license. Or, if you're really real, a sub-machine gun.
-You can rock out, regardless of the positioning of your cock.
- You can wear enough gold (or "ice") to overshadow the economies of several small countries. Furthermore, you'll be shiny enough to become a personal disco ball, which attracts even more people to experience the realest person currently in the game.
-With realness comes consequence, such as not being able to do other, non-real things. Well, none of those things are that cool anyway, so I guess that's not too bad.
- Your vocabulary will go down. Or up, since you'll be making up a whole bunch of badass new slang, like "purpledrank," "a milli," and "glibble glabble."
- You will have to deal with player-haters, who are neither real, nor in the game. They will probably shoot at you, and since you'll be so real, there's an extremely high chance of you getting hit. Even if you die, however, you'll continue to release new songs and CD's.
- People will try to leech your realness from you, resulting in aggression, which is so not real.
- Once a new way of being cool surfaces, your way will quickly die. You'll become "so yesterday," and no longer be "where it's at." Your realness will quickly evaporate, until you're nothing more than a ghost of your former self.
Next week, we'll discuss the ways to measure realness, as well as calculate it. So, until next time, keep it real!