Every little kid dreams big. As a kid you believe impossible things can come true. When I was a kid I dreamed of a ton of cool things happening to me when I got older that can never come true. Here are my 5 dumbest dreams as a kid:

1) Play in NBA

Reasons it will never happen:   I am white, unathletic, and have a 13 inch vertical leap. Some of you will point out that those characteristics describe Steve Nash. Good point. I also lack a good shot and a high basketball IQ. I am still upset with all white players in the NBA for giving me a glimmer of hope only to have reality and my JV basketball coach smash those dreams.

2) Have a pet dinosaur

Reasons it will never happen:   Lack of scientific break throughs and safety. As a kid you don't care that your favorite movies like Jurassic Park are based on science or that your yard is not nearly big enough for a velociraptor. All you think is that if you had a pet raptor you would be the coolest kid in school. Even when I saw the raptor kill the guy in the start of the movie I thought somehow it would be different between me and my pet raptor. My raptor would be the coolest; he wouldn't try to eat me. However, they still haven't been able to clone a dinosaur and my roommates have already told me they are not cool with having a raptor in our apartment.


3) Be a super hero

Reasons it will never happen:   Lack of super powers. A terrible accident (i.e. radioactive spider bite) as yet to give me super powers thus turning the accident into a blessing in disguise. I cannot tell me how many times I have stood out by a nuclear power plant just hoping for something to happen. It might be for the best though; modern science most often links radioactive waste to cancer or death, not super powers.

4) Live in a house made of candy

Reasons it will never happen:   Impossible to build. It seemed so simple when I was 7; I was going to build a house made of candy using my NBA salary to pay for it and live there with my raptor. I didn't realize that in the summer months the house would melt and would be invaded by ants. I learned this the one summer I tried to make my summer a candy tree house (my parents like to watch me learn through my embarrassing failures). I can still feel the ants crawling on me. It probably is all for the best, I would have just ended up trying to eat the house.

5) Be a teenage mutant ninja turtle

Reasons it will never happen:   I am now no longer a teenager so this dream can never happen. Also, I am not a turtle. I was a stupid child.