Now with 10% more funny!
I feel like I am becoming to much of a yuppie nowadays, because every time I smoke pot I get the brunchies.
You're momma's so oldThe odds are good you have Downs Syndrome.
Swine FlewSeveral news organizations are reporting there might be a worldwide epidemic when pigs fly!
Germany, the original Polish remover.
Some one told me the phrase "trust people as far as you can throw them", turns out I trust babies A LOT
Ivan Drago Supermarket Manager"I must lunch break you"
Last sunday I decided to do a little Wake and Bake. I don't think I've ever been so sconed.
I sawed a woman in the park todayNot bad grammar. Just recollections of a deranged killer.
Mexicanized DrinksMexican Screwdriver: OJ and Tequila
Mexican Cola: Coke and Tequila
Mexican Sex on the Beach: Rape
The whole "is the glass half empty or half full" thing doesn't really work for alcoholics