Adam Ruins Everything
Jake and Amir
Your 8am Lecture Class Professor's End of Semester Email, Translated
May 13, 2009
Simply roll your mouse over the text to reveal its true meaning!
Before you all head off for vacation I wanted to say thanks for contributing to a great semester.
I have no idea who you are, but I'd like to acknowledge the termination of this mutually obligatory experience.
Teaching undergraduate classes like this keeps me young.
Teaching undergraduate classes like this is a requirement for my research funding.
Hopefully you can take things from this class with you in your future studies.
I made you buy my book, biatch!
You all really helped shape the future direction of this class.
I'll be using the identical Powerpoint slides 10 years from now.
I was surprised by the quality and diversity of opinions in your term papers.
I've never read a single paper you've ever written, but the TA's said they were fine.
Thank you to everyone who came to lecture every week despite the early start time.
Thank you to the 3 Asians and the
There's nothing better than looking out at rows of eager students every morning.
projector is on I can't see sh*t.
For those of you intrigued by the subject matter, I teach an upper level course in the fall.
Buy more of my books, biatch!
Many thanks to our wonderful team of teaching assistants for all their hard work.
Many thanks to our detached team of teaching assistants who do this entirely for the stipend.
I look forward to hopefully hearing from you down the road.
I look forward to you awkwardly asking me to write a letter of recommendation.
We like you. Do you like us too?
Don't ask me again.